Failure to be faithful

Some time ago a friend of mine threw me the one million dollar question, "what if your husband was to take on another wife?"

Heh. now thats a tough one. especially if i were to give an honest, straight from the heart answer.

Of course i've thought about it, who hasnt?  its a subject thats been talked about & debated over even before i was born. and i dont quite see it stopping, ever lol.

Now back to the question.

My first reaction would be one of complete betrayal. how could someone you consider a soulmate & life partner even think of sharing his life with someone else? how can someone that you have dedicated your whole life to, find the need for another?

Then comes the endless whys.

Why?

.. when you've always gone out of your way to make him happy & content, putting his needs above your own?
.. when you've always tried your darnedest to make sure that his children, his family, his belongings are well taken care of?
.. when you've always been there for him, more than able, always willing, even wanting?
.. and that you cherish every single moment of your life together?

I know the Lord that i worship is merciful & just. in His infinite mercy He has left many doors open to mankind.. salvation, redemption, a way out of society's ills.

So it could well be an act of selflessness on his part, his way of saving the world. but why do i strongly doubt that the choice would ever be a destitute mother of 5, or a desperate old maid or a prostitute looking for a way out? the Lord also heeds us to ponder upon the many layers of poligamy... bcos salvation & temptation often walk hand in hand. that which appears to be a just cause could well be a lost cause.

Or it could be his attempt at walking in the footsteps of the prophet. but then considered in its entirety, our beloved prophet revered his first wife khadijah and was devoted & ever faithful to her while she was alive.  he only took on others after her death and even then still cherished her memory.

So.

After considering all the love and the sacrifice, the only thing you can come up with right now is your one unredeemable crime.. that of growing old.  and if aging is the main problem and the excitement of fresh young blood is on the agenda then theres nothing else that can be done. bcos growing old is as certain as death. there are no exceptions. there can be no escape.

Such being said, if beyond all reason the man is still insistent and thru the heartbreak & pain my rights are still guaranteed, then with a heavy & disillusioned heart i would probably relent.  bcos sharing a long history & having children together is not something one can easily put aside.  bcos i would also be secure in the knowledge that the Lord is fair, He is Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim and He would never test me beyond that i am capable of. and mostly bcos i know He takes special care of those who are 'teraniaya'.

(image from deviantart.com)

Ok. thats it, at this point in time thats my take. straight from my heart. but whether i'll be able to walk the talk is anybody's guess bcos nothing is certain. people change, so do feelings. its every woman's nightmare and i seriously hope the day will never come. i seriously hope that he loves me enough not to rip my heart out and care enough not to hurt the children.

Why does poligamy cause such an uproar especially in this day & age?  for me (and i stress, for me) its mainly bcos of the manhandling & the abuse of the Lord's provision. and  instead of harping on the issues of sacrifices & selflessness maybe we should consider this, is it about the failure of the woman to share (perhaps the men would be better at sharing?) or more about the failure of the man to be faithful?