Friday, August 27, 2010

Nuzul Quran

Last nite at the masjid negeri, following the eve of nuzul quran, there was a tazkirah with Ustaz Ismail Kamus after tarawih followed by a qiyamulail session at 4am. i would have loved to have stayed on after the tazkirah but sadly without golfman, it wasnt a viable option.

Yang termampu hanya menghabiskan saki baki malam dengan menghayati al quran. at home, alone, in the privacy of my room.

And i woke up to a glorious morning, alhamdulillah. one not to be wasted. one which i am glad to report i utilised to the fullest lol.

What initially started out as a relaxing 4km run, became 8 and ended as 12!

Yup, it felt so good that surprisingly i completed another 3 loop run round the tasik. and surprisingly it required less effort than my first 12km attempt a couple of weeks ago. i thought i was out thrashing my demons but somehow found peace along the way. rahmat bulan ramadhan i guess, and the run felt easier probably bcos i was a little lighter on my feet.

And i'm not complaining bcos an easier run meant less sweating and thats a good thing when you're fasting with no hope of replenishing any body fluids till the end of the day.  i wasnt thirsty but my lips were dry.  again it must be the effect of ramadhan and years of of training to fight off hunger & thirst.

But guess what subliminal message my mind was sending me when i was shopping at tesco later in the day?

Hehehe.. a major portion of the stuff i loaded in my cart was all kinds of heavenly fluids ;p

Selamat Menyambut Nuzul Quran peeps & Selamat berbuka bersama keluarga <3

Santai 12km run/TSA

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


.. jiwa dan raga.

Everytime you go away its like someone turned off all the lights.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

If i could fly

The closest i'd ever get to flying (other than jumping off a 20 storey building lol) is probably when i'm out running on a good day.
[image from]

Its hard to describe the feeling.  you're running as usual, huffing & puffing away and suddenly there's this wondrous few seconds when everything falls into place and you just take off,  whoosh!!

It doesnt matter that you're actually plodding along like a penguin.

It doesnt matter that you're heavier than a guni beras (sack of rice).

Doesnt even matter that the people are looking at you funny.

All you know or care is that you feel as free as the wind, as light as the breeze and as blessed as the morning sun.  it doesnt happen too often but when it does, you feel like a million bucks. and one of the perks of running in ramadhan is that i get more of these 'flights of fancy' as i call them lol bcos i'm probably a teeny weeny bit lighter with the fasting ;p

3k round my neighbourhood both yesterday & this morning :D

Ramadhan Snippets.
Every vice in society stems from a lack of self-control. Whether it’s violence, addiction, gambling, infidelity or pre-marital sex – they are all a result of succumbing to desires. When a person does not have the strength in their character to withstand the numerous temptations and tackle his nafs (lower self) to the ground, then he will most definitely become a slave to those desires. As a prisoner of desires, a person feels completely powerless, lacking any ability to help themselves. In the extreme cases, these individuals become depressed, suicidal, bankrupt, imprisoned or in a midst of a scandal.

Since the root of all this evil is the inability to control oneself, then it would be of paramount importance to have training sessions for a whole society in order to strengthen their will power and avoid these destructive pitfalls that adversely affect everyone. Fortunately in the Muslim world there is such a training session during the blessed month of Ramadan. Every Muslim that fasts gets intensive exercise in withstanding many different kinds of temptations. The temptation to eat, drink, have relations or even get angry is overcome every day for a month which prepares us for the many arduous tests we face in life.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Failure to be faithful

Some time ago a friend of mine threw me the one million dollar question, "what if your husband was to take on another wife?"

Heh. now thats a tough one. especially if i were to give an honest, straight from the heart answer.

Of course i've thought about it, who hasnt?  its a subject thats been talked about & debated over even before i was born. and i dont quite see it stopping, ever lol.

Now back to the question.

My first reaction would be one of complete betrayal. how could someone you consider a soulmate & life partner even think of sharing his life with someone else? how can someone that you have dedicated your whole life to, find the need for another?

Then comes the endless whys.


.. when you've always gone out of your way to make him happy & content, putting his needs above your own?
.. when you've always tried your darnedest to make sure that his children, his family, his belongings are well taken care of?
.. when you've always been there for him, more than able, always willing, even wanting?
.. and that you cherish every single moment of your life together?

I know the Lord that i worship is merciful & just. in His infinite mercy He has left many doors open to mankind.. salvation, redemption, a way out of society's ills.

So it could well be an act of selflessness on his part, his way of saving the world. but why do i strongly doubt that the choice would ever be a destitute mother of 5, or a desperate old maid or a prostitute looking for a way out? the Lord also heeds us to ponder upon the many layers of poligamy... bcos salvation & temptation often walk hand in hand. that which appears to be a just cause could well be a lost cause.

Or it could be his attempt at walking in the footsteps of the prophet. but then considered in its entirety, our beloved prophet revered his first wife khadijah and was devoted & ever faithful to her while she was alive.  he only took on others after her death and even then still cherished her memory.


After considering all the love and the sacrifice, the only thing you can come up with right now is your one unredeemable crime.. that of growing old.  and if aging is the main problem and the excitement of fresh young blood is on the agenda then theres nothing else that can be done. bcos growing old is as certain as death. there are no exceptions. there can be no escape.

Such being said, if beyond all reason the man is still insistent and thru the heartbreak & pain my rights are still guaranteed, then with a heavy & disillusioned heart i would probably relent.  bcos sharing a long history & having children together is not something one can easily put aside.  bcos i would also be secure in the knowledge that the Lord is fair, He is Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim and He would never test me beyond that i am capable of. and mostly bcos i know He takes special care of those who are 'teraniaya'.

(image from

Ok. thats it, at this point in time thats my take. straight from my heart. but whether i'll be able to walk the talk is anybody's guess bcos nothing is certain. people change, so do feelings. its every woman's nightmare and i seriously hope the day will never come. i seriously hope that he loves me enough not to rip my heart out and care enough not to hurt the children.

Why does poligamy cause such an uproar especially in this day & age?  for me (and i stress, for me) its mainly bcos of the manhandling & the abuse of the Lord's provision. and  instead of harping on the issues of sacrifices & selflessness maybe we should consider this, is it about the failure of the woman to share (perhaps the men would be better at sharing?) or more about the failure of the man to be faithful?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Di awal puasa

Second day of fasting, third nite of tarawih.  AH was able to be home again for iftah and with everyone's agreement, we did our prayers at home with golfman as imam. as usual nicolei was all over the room.. he just loves solat berjemaah lol.

The scene at our home hehehe.

Nico with his own prayer mat lol
 First casualty down while abah was still reciting the doa.
.. but nico is still frisky
Then its everyone 'down on the floor' after witir.
Unconditional love.

Macam2 ada :D

Hope your fasting has been good so far <3

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


First day into ramadhan.. and i got stuck in the lift, all by my sad lonely self lol.

Oh i can laugh about it bcos it wasnt dark.. and it was also during office hours (the lift can be quite freaky at nite those times that i was doing overtime).

And more importantly, the doors re-opened in less than 5 minutes hehehe.

Dugaan? just an itsy bitsy one ;p

Slow short jog of 2km/TSA.. didnt want to push it hehehe.

Yang terindah

Semoga ramadhan ini di antara yang terindah :D

Tarawih @ masjid negeri last nite.. it was  full house but only for the first 8 rakaat. i barely made it into the main prayer hall.

Interior - main dome of masjid negeri.

 After the general exodus of the first 8, i managed to secure a place right under the main dome.

Al-Baqarah [2:185] The month of Ramadan is that in which the Quran was revealed, a guidance to men and clear signs of the guidance and the distinction; therefore whoever of you is present in the month, he shall fast therein, and whoever is sick or upon a journey, then (he shall fast) a (like) number of other days; Allah desires ease for you, and He does not desire for you difficulty, and (He desires) that you should complete the number and that you should exalt the greatness of Allah for His having guided you and that you may give thanks.

Al-Baqarah [2:186] And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way.


Ramadhan Al-Mubarak. selamat menghiasinya sebaik mungkin.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Bersemangat di bulan Merdeka

This year august is a busy busy month with so much happening almost all at once.

Theres the end of syaban.

The beginning of ramadhan.

And also our independence day.

So the monthly assembly we had today was a bit out of the ordinary.  hosted by JPS, it was by far the longest & most exciting assembly we'd had for a long time (as exciting as a gathering of bored fidgety people can get la hehehe). putting aside the long mandatory speeches, this time there was the emotionally heartfelt doa by the ustaz (he was moved to tears while reciting it), the lively choir, well executed merdeka pantomine and the rousing finale of jalur gemilang medley by all present.

Speech by selangor MB
JPS choir
Short merdeka pantomine.
The assembly @ Dewan Jubli Perak
Jalur gemilang song medley
 A rousing finale of MERDEKA!!

Wah balik ofis dalam keadaan yang cukup bersemangat ;p

It also marked the last aerobic session at the ladies gym that i frequent.  no classes during ramadhan, probably bcos its core customers are mainly muslims. many were lamenting the fact that exercise would now cease to be their priority, but i beg to differ.  hendak seribu daya.  work out in the mornings when the weather is cool and there's still the residue of sahur to sustain you. and go for the max during tarawih, that in itself is both ibadah & riadah :D 

Lets make the most of ramadhan. we might not be around for the next one.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Breaking thru

I usually have so much on my hands that i seldom venture out of my comfort zone. spread myself too thin and i might just disappear so i'm very careful with over committing. a wrong move and everything would grind to a complete halt. like it or not the family depends on me to keep my act together.

I have to be very careful not to get 'too' sick.  or injure any limb. or worse still break any bone.

So i end up being your proverbial katak bawah tempurung lol.. i keep to myself & stay well within my boundaries.

Except on rare occasions, the once-in-a-blue-moon kind :D

No one was more surprised than me when i suddenly decided to go for my 3rd loop (12km) round the tasik.  i've been running for close to 6 years now and never have i even once, had the inclination of breaking the 2 loop barrier (8km) i'd set on myself.  cukup2 la kan, its not like i run for races or anything lol.

But the thought of my running buddies juney & azza huffing & puffing away in sunny hatyai kinda spurred me on lol and before i knew it, there i was into my 3rd loop :p  such is the power of motivation heheheh.

So, i braved the unknown (cewah drama skit ekekekeh) & ventured out of my comfort zone.

And no, i did not suffer a gruesome fate ;p

Just a sharp pain on the underside of my forefoot towards the last km.  maybe its the adizero. maybe i actually need the cushioning towards the front of my shoes. dunno. need to experiment summore.

Turned out to be a weekend with everyone going for their own 'thang' (just ask golfman & cikgu lol). a last fling perhaps before we settle down to the business of  embracing Ramadhan

Hope yours was as enjoyable as mine and i leave you with some recent pics of nicolei.

Lording over his domain but..

 ..looks like miso the young upstart is having other ideas lol.

Finding every chance to be with missy's things

 ..his way of dealing with her absence i guess.

Weekend Log
Sat - 12k/TSA followed by 60 mins med-impact/NRG
Sun - 60 mins high impact/DSA followed by 4k/TSA

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Re-igniting the spark

Even with a history of chronic childhood asthma, golfman has always been keeping himself pretty active. back in his younger days it was eat, drink, sleep football. then it was tennis for the longest of time (with a little ping pong & badminton on the side). and eventually it was eat, drink, sleep golf.

Although the choice of activities have changed in relation to his age, he has still kept at it (way to go babe mwaaah).

Unfortunately, his long stint in the caspian area has sort of thrown him off course a little (rolling greens are hard to come by) but once a sportsman always a sportsman i guess bcos he still loves a good sweat.  and playing on that fact, i've continously been trying to get him up and running. oh not anything to do with racing or any of that competitive stuff but just little outings to rev up the ole engine and improve his stamina.

So far any spark of interest have always dwindled away and died a natural (or is it unnatural?) death.

Until lately.

Heh heh heh. i'm euphoric. its 2 days in a row now that HE has instigated a slow run round the tasik.. HIM not me. and he's planning for more :D

Some time back i managed to convince him into completing the 3.8k loop round TSA.  just a slow jog-a-jog jog but still a run. sadly, after that first try he had to leave. there just wasnt enough time to get him hooked on the endorphine rush!!  then there was another try following the first but again work took him away.

Now that he's 'in limbo' so to speak, theres a lot more time to play around with and i certainly havent let the opportunity go to waste lol.  after a little pushing & prodding, the spark seem to have been re-ignited.

Halleluyah lol.

I'm not hoping that it'll burst into flames. it's probably less sustainable that way, with a higher possibility of dying out completely lol. nah, i'd happily settle for a slow burning fire. one that'll last thru our golden years ;p

Here's to many more huffing & puffing together babe hehehehe. and believe me, you'll be breezing through ur 18 holes like its a walk in the park and those golf marathons you guys seem to be so fond of? heh kacang mamak  ;p

  Full moon during the recent nisfu sya'ban.. simply gorgeous isnt it!!
(taken @ guthrie driving range, bukit jelutong).

Workout Log
Tues - 3.8k slow jog with GM/TSA
Wed - 3.8k slow jog with GM/TSA, 1k solo/TSA.
Thur - 3.8k slow jog with GM/TSA, 1k solo/TSA

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Lost in transition

I think for a workaholic, that transition between one job to another must surely be hell on earth.

Duduk tak kena, baring tak kena, tidor tak kena. and you end up with so much repressed energy you just hafta do something or otherwise explode.

For golfman, its challenging the rempits on the road.  he's been driving around like a madman lately and i'm having the toughest of times keeping mum, and just holding on for dear life. whoa you should see my man weaving his way through the traffic & taking the corners these days.. silap2 schumacher & senna tak bole cari makan dowh lol.

Hmmm probably osso the reason why the car indicators are blinking about madly ;D

Relek la yang, it'll all be settled soon insyallah. in the meantime jom belajar drift jom hehehe.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

And there was one.

When the kids are all home, my cup runneth over.. and usually in more ways than one lol.

It was the weekend of AH's birthday so a lil special time had to be put aside for her. then with the cikgu home, as usual the house spilled over with his buddies. really, these guys just love each others company (much to the consternation of their gilfriends lol) and always seem to have something planned. right now they're going thru a board-game craze (before this it was Left 4 Dead) and many a morning have i woken up to a house full of sleeping young men lol. seems that even AI who's usually tied to his xbox have been infected.. in fact i must say that the infection has become quite severe -_-'

Between keeping the boys fed and spending some bonding time with my daughter, i also had a couple of other things lined up. the aqiqah of a neighbour's granddaughter and the wedding reception of an old friend.

And with so much going on, the wind was completely knocked off our sails when both our cars decided to break down. yup not one but two!! one was already in the workshop for a busted radiator when suddenly out of the blue, the other car's indicator started blinking out signals of a faulty brake system.

Ayayayayai. cannot compromise on brakes la so that left us with only one option - AI's 'poltergeist' car!!! why poltergeist? bcos it has this quirky habit of locking & unlocking itself any time it pleases. plus an alarm that gets activated at the most unexpected times and places.. usually where theres lots of people about lol e.g. busy junctions/intersections/traffic lights or when you're trying to park at a crowded mall or just cruising the neighbourhood. you even get to feel like an ice cream van sometimes. golfman says its probably the electrical wiring, dunno. since AI's always busy with classes & discussions, we just havent gotten round to fixing it.

Gawd getting about was quite a nightmare with so many of us depending on that one car but we somehow managed, by the skin of our teeth lol. Anyhoo heres sharing some pics of the hyper weekend.

Birthday girl making funny faces lol

Brand new highlighted hair - prezzie from mumsy ;p

Marhaban & aqiqah cucu sulong R & E

Wedding reception  of  F & KB's eldest son

We go back a loong way.. semsas 1975-1979 & into itm.

Thank god i managed to squeeze in some calorie burning activities as well, otherwise sure pengsan with all the cakes, pasta, beriani kambing, nasi minyak, pulut kuning ;D

Sat - 8k run/TSA
Sun - 4k run plus 60 mins aerobics/DSA