Thursday, January 7, 2010

Empty Nest

Having a huge part of my duties taken away from me is making me feel a little disoriented, a little unsure and quite frankly, a little worthless.

With the husband away & managing the household on my own, my responsibilities span a broad spectrum. a big chunk of it is about school & keeping an eagle eye on the kids so that they dont mess up their lives too badly or end up making stupid monkeys of themselves.

Now that spm's over and AH's out of school i'm already feeling the difference. this year i DO NOT have to fuss over school uniforms, books or bags, i DO NOT have to suffer the monotony of PTA/PIBG meetings and i DO NOT have to keep track of classes, tuitions & practices. i can now stop planning meetings around her schedule and cancelling appoinments bcos something unexpected happened in school.

With so much taken off my hands, why do i suddenly feel so bereft?

After deliberating over the matter, i've come to realise that maybe i needed the endless activities, the constant demands on my time & attention. maybe i needed to keep busy. after all, nobody in their right mind would actually want to be separated from their other half, for whatever the reason. going about life a broken part of a complete whole isnt fun at all. and problem is, there might even come a time when whatever's broken would remain broken and nothing the king's horses nor the king's men could ever do to mend it again. god forbid that it should ever happen though.

Before long AH too will be off to college, following in the footsteps of her bros. will i then just docilely allow the empty nest sydrome to engulf me? heck, i dont think so!!

Truth be told i'm slowly going crazy here. i sooo need to re-evaluate & redefine myself right now.


Anonymous said...

Funny, I just thought about this a few days ago when school started. I counted the remaining years I have before my girls leave the nest. And yeah, I guess that's why I don't mind pushing my limits being a "nurturing mom" as you put it coz it's only for a few more years.

Then I guess I'll start feeling this emptiness you're experiencing. Hang in there, JT.

Justiffa said...

Thx haza.. just another one of those crossroads i guess.

chakry said...

well. u can focus on a novel or self-help book you might wanna write?

then comes the wedding planning! :P

pakmat said...

..or start a cattery..:) come on la, r fast approaching the best time of your life..quality time with yourself and the golfmaster..before you go ga ga on becoming a grandmother..just you wait when you lay eyes on your daughter's 1st child..

Justiffa said...

Chak - me write a self-help book? hehehe aunty pun struggling to keep afloat.. but the wedding part, weh tu best tu ;)

n thx for cheering me up chak mwaah3

Justiffa said...

Salam pakmat..

A cattery eh? but i'm so forgetful i might forget to feed them all hehehe.

I'm ok pakmat, its partly my unstable hormones. you know la how it is when the years pile up, ada je yg malfunction ekekeh ;D

Yup very much looking forward to my 'golden years' with golfman beside me & all the cucus...insyallah, soon i hope, doakan :D