Tiada yang pasti

(from google images)

.. but this too shall pass, insyallah.

The daily grind.

Since eid not a day has passed that i havent been cooking up something or other for family & friends.  golfman loves staying home & eating entertaining and i dont mind bcos it gives me great pleasure to see him so relaxed & happy :D

But its back to work again today. back to juggling between what i hafta to do & what i wanna do.

Back to reality. back to the endless hustle & bustle.

Ya rahman ya rahim.. walaupun ramadhan berlalu pergi ku mohon dibuai keinsafan & kesyahduan yg berpanjangan, agar hati ini mekar dan jiwa ini terus berbunga.

1st Syawal

Hope your first day of eid was as great as ours :D

But not too much ketupat, lemang & rendang k, nanti kena lari tak hengat punye heheheh.

Theres still loads to be done so i leave you with a couple of eid pics of the family ;p

The Family Eid 1431H

The Family - forget about formal hehehe.

My Man

My Bouncers

Missy & Cikgu

Missy & Topman

Have a great hols y'all <3

Aidilfitri 1431H

Its almost that time of year again. the great exodus out of the cities. and probably the only time that klang valley isnt as choked up as it normally is.

For family & friends travelling back to their hometowns for raya, please dont take any chances on the roads. drive safe.. there'll be loved ones waiting dengan penuh harapan for your return.

I'll be working till Wednesday. having no kampung to actually go back to has its perks, theres no hassle of packing or travelling involved.  just the usual raya preparation. raya's eve and we're at the wet market trying to beat the long queues at  the butcher as well as the 'santan' stall lol. next will be the long hours spend in the kitchen (golfman loves to eat during raya). raya morning and we're trying our best not to drown in the sea of indons & banglas thronging the masjid negeri hehehe. then its making the usual rounds visiting family (golfman's mom & 2 of his bros are in shah alam) and neighbours. surprisingly over the years, there are more and more people celebrating eid in shah alam.

See, tak balik kampung can osso be lots of fun (yo la tu hik2) ;p

Btw, do you know what happens when you take away the 'golf' from the 'golfman'?

Heh heh heh... he becomes the Zzzz-man ;D


Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri dari kami sekeluarga.  Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Close at hand

Bodyguard & constant companion.

Life in the AA family wouldnt be the same without him <3

Imam's bodyguard

Sleeping partner

I appreciate beauty & fashion as much as  the next person but i so hate shopping. in any kind of weather or any type of condition. and especially when it involves large crowds.

But its raya and the kids look forward to having new clothes come syawal, so brave the elements we did.

The massive jams, the full car parks, the long queues, the crowd of impatient people just waiting to pop a vein. heck, enough to test even the most patient of saints!! but we did it anyway. saturday saw us combing the bazaars of sacc & pkns complex for traditional malay garments and sunday was spent at sunway pyramid for the rest. yup we did it. not for me or golfman bcos neither of us really care about what we'd be putting on our backs but for the kids. its the festive season and we have after all been trying our best to conquer our nafs. surely, there is a need for celebration.

At least that part has been taken care of. i can breathe easy now thank god. bcos i really dont think i'll be doing much in the way of sprucing up the place. we're not the type to get new things for raya. i'm just going to give the place a brief once over bcos i'll be needing my energy for the almost non-stop cooking during eid. we love having family & friends over lol.. and we dont believe in open houses. it might be a convenient way of celebrating eid but it doesnt really leave much room for personal interaction.

So..... are you taking a long raya break peeps?

Please dont go

So much to do, so little time, such limited resources.

Adeh.. and i need my sleep. badly.

By tonite everyone will be home and this time they will all have to help out. during their school going years the kids only had to deal with limited duties.  i wanted them to remain focused on their studies.   maidless for all these years, i've juggled with work & housework the best i can but its time to really share the burden.. dah besar panjang pun.

Now lets see.. theres inside, outside, upstairs, downstairs.

(Pic from google images)

Eeeeeeek!!!

I'm starting to wish that ramadhan would go on forever.

Btw its been an uncannily peaceful morning. do you think that perhaps last nite was lailatul qadar?

 Surah 97: Al-Qadr (1-5)

“We have indeed revealed this (message) in the Night of Power: and what will make you comprehend what the Night of Power is? The Night of Power is better than a thousand months. Therein descend the angels and Gibreel by the permission of their Lord, on every errand: Peace…it is until the break of morning.”

Nuzul Quran

Last nite at the masjid negeri, following the eve of nuzul quran, there was a tazkirah with Ustaz Ismail Kamus after tarawih followed by a qiyamulail session at 4am. i would have loved to have stayed on after the tazkirah but sadly without golfman, it wasnt a viable option.

Yang termampu hanya menghabiskan saki baki malam dengan menghayati al quran. at home, alone, in the privacy of my room.

And i woke up to a glorious morning, alhamdulillah. one not to be wasted. one which i am glad to report i utilised to the fullest lol.

What initially started out as a relaxing 4km run, became 8 and ended as 12!

Yup, it felt so good that surprisingly i completed another 3 loop run round the tasik. and surprisingly it required less effort than my first 12km attempt a couple of weeks ago. i thought i was out thrashing my demons but somehow found peace along the way. rahmat bulan ramadhan i guess, and the run felt easier probably bcos i was a little lighter on my feet.

And i'm not complaining bcos an easier run meant less sweating and thats a good thing when you're fasting with no hope of replenishing any body fluids till the end of the day.  i wasnt thirsty but my lips were dry.  again it must be the effect of ramadhan and years of of training to fight off hunger & thirst.

But guess what subliminal message my mind was sending me when i was shopping at tesco later in the day?

Hehehe.. a major portion of the stuff i loaded in my cart was all kinds of heavenly fluids ;p

Selamat Menyambut Nuzul Quran peeps & Selamat berbuka bersama keluarga <3

Workout
Santai 12km run/TSA

Penglipur lara

Tersiksa

.. jiwa dan raga.



Everytime you go away its like someone turned off all the lights.

If i could fly

The closest i'd ever get to flying (other than jumping off a 20 storey building lol) is probably when i'm out running on a good day.

[image from sodahead.com]

Its hard to describe the feeling.  you're running as usual, huffing & puffing away and suddenly there's this wondrous few seconds when everything falls into place and you just take off,  whoosh!!

It doesnt matter that you're actually plodding along like a penguin.

It doesnt matter that you're heavier than a guni beras (sack of rice).

Doesnt even matter that the people are looking at you funny.

All you know or care is that you feel as free as the wind, as light as the breeze and as blessed as the morning sun.  it doesnt happen too often but when it does, you feel like a million bucks. and one of the perks of running in ramadhan is that i get more of these 'flights of fancy' as i call them lol bcos i'm probably a teeny weeny bit lighter with the fasting ;p

Workout

3k round my neighbourhood both yesterday & this morning :D

Ramadhan Snippets.

Every vice in society stems from a lack of self-control. Whether it’s violence, addiction, gambling, infidelity or pre-marital sex – they are all a result of succumbing to desires. When a person does not have the strength in their character to withstand the numerous temptations and tackle his nafs (lower self) to the ground, then he will most definitely become a slave to those desires. As a prisoner of desires, a person feels completely powerless, lacking any ability to help themselves. In the extreme cases, these individuals become depressed, suicidal, bankrupt, imprisoned or in a midst of a scandal.

Since the root of all this evil is the inability to control oneself, then it would be of paramount importance to have training sessions for a whole society in order to strengthen their will power and avoid these destructive pitfalls that adversely affect everyone. Fortunately in the Muslim world there is such a training session during the blessed month of Ramadan. Every Muslim that fasts gets intensive exercise in withstanding many different kinds of temptations. The temptation to eat, drink, have relations or even get angry is overcome every day for a month which prepares us for the many arduous tests we face in life.

(From: http://muslimmatters.org/2010/08/11/the-psychological-benefits-of-fasting-saum)

Failure to be faithful

Some time ago a friend of mine threw me the one million dollar question, "what if your husband was to take on another wife?"

Heh. now thats a tough one. especially if i were to give an honest, straight from the heart answer.

Of course i've thought about it, who hasnt?  its a subject thats been talked about & debated over even before i was born. and i dont quite see it stopping, ever lol.

Now back to the question.

My first reaction would be one of complete betrayal. how could someone you consider a soulmate & life partner even think of sharing his life with someone else? how can someone that you have dedicated your whole life to, find the need for another?

Then comes the endless whys.

Why?

.. when you've always gone out of your way to make him happy & content, putting his needs above your own?
.. when you've always tried your darnedest to make sure that his children, his family, his belongings are well taken care of?
.. when you've always been there for him, more than able, always willing, even wanting?
.. and that you cherish every single moment of your life together?

I know the Lord that i worship is merciful & just. in His infinite mercy He has left many doors open to mankind.. salvation, redemption, a way out of society's ills.

So it could well be an act of selflessness on his part, his way of saving the world. but why do i strongly doubt that the choice would ever be a destitute mother of 5, or a desperate old maid or a prostitute looking for a way out? the Lord also heeds us to ponder upon the many layers of poligamy... bcos salvation & temptation often walk hand in hand. that which appears to be a just cause could well be a lost cause.

Or it could be his attempt at walking in the footsteps of the prophet. but then considered in its entirety, our beloved prophet revered his first wife khadijah and was devoted & ever faithful to her while she was alive.  he only took on others after her death and even then still cherished her memory.

So.

After considering all the love and the sacrifice, the only thing you can come up with right now is your one unredeemable crime.. that of growing old.  and if aging is the main problem and the excitement of fresh young blood is on the agenda then theres nothing else that can be done. bcos growing old is as certain as death. there are no exceptions. there can be no escape.

Such being said, if beyond all reason the man is still insistent and thru the heartbreak & pain my rights are still guaranteed, then with a heavy & disillusioned heart i would probably relent.  bcos sharing a long history & having children together is not something one can easily put aside.  bcos i would also be secure in the knowledge that the Lord is fair, He is Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim and He would never test me beyond that i am capable of. and mostly bcos i know He takes special care of those who are 'teraniaya'.

(image from deviantart.com)

Ok. thats it, at this point in time thats my take. straight from my heart. but whether i'll be able to walk the talk is anybody's guess bcos nothing is certain. people change, so do feelings. its every woman's nightmare and i seriously hope the day will never come. i seriously hope that he loves me enough not to rip my heart out and care enough not to hurt the children.

Why does poligamy cause such an uproar especially in this day & age?  for me (and i stress, for me) its mainly bcos of the manhandling & the abuse of the Lord's provision. and  instead of harping on the issues of sacrifices & selflessness maybe we should consider this, is it about the failure of the woman to share (perhaps the men would be better at sharing?) or more about the failure of the man to be faithful?

Di awal puasa

Second day of fasting, third nite of tarawih.  AH was able to be home again for iftah and with everyone's agreement, we did our prayers at home with golfman as imam. as usual nicolei was all over the room.. he just loves solat berjemaah lol.

The scene at our home hehehe.

Nico with his own prayer mat lol

 First casualty down while abah was still reciting the doa.

.. but nico is still frisky

Then its everyone 'down on the floor' after witir.

Unconditional love.

Macam2 ada :D

Hope your fasting has been good so far <3

Dugaan

First day into ramadhan.. and i got stuck in the lift, all by my sad lonely self lol.

Oh i can laugh about it bcos it wasnt dark.. and it was also during office hours (the lift can be quite freaky at nite those times that i was doing overtime).

And more importantly, the doors re-opened in less than 5 minutes hehehe.

Dugaan? just an itsy bitsy one ;p

Workout

Slow short jog of 2km/TSA.. didnt want to push it hehehe.