Of marathons and centuries.

I am at a point in my life when I am feeling vulnerable & helpless.  all that I have taken for granted such as my general good health & sense of well being, are suddenly things that I cant depend on anymore.  for the record, I have fully utilized my 15 days allocation for private MCs and its only September.
 

 

Unless u're a woman u wouldn't understand the pain & frustration brought about by fluctuating hormones, month after month, baby after baby.

 

Unless u're a menopausal woman u wouldn't understand the havoc & upheaval that comes with the gradually diminishing hormones, up till the day it ceases to exist.

Ada salah, tak ada pun salah. 

Really, men should be on their hands and knees thanking the Lord that they don't need to go through what we women do.  yes, we are all fighting the demons within us but when hormones run amok, its no longer a level playing field.  trust me sir, when she was carrying ur 5th child, ur wife wasn't craving for attention when she wanted durians at 3 in the morning lol.

Now with all that against me, it would only be logical for me to just ride the waves and quietly go along with the flow.  its traumatic enough to deal with unreasonable, unexplainable fatigue... as well as the unrelentless, constant bloating.  or the sudden sensitivity and frequent melancholy.
 

 

But no, although I didn't plan it I somehow ended up with not one, but two events which I consider as quite monumental this year.

- Running my first full marathon at the Malaysian Women Marathon and even though I've been running for sooo many years, it just had to be this year.

- Cycling my way through my first century at the Trengganu Century Ride when in fact, I'd only started riding my bike middle of last year and there really wasn't any rush to get it done.

Hahahaha..... somewhere deep down, I really must be a masochist. 

 

Stop the snowballing

Huargghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I feel like a granny elephant. whenever my feet hit the tarmac I can almost feel the earth reverberating under my weight AND when I cycle, my knees hit my tummy.

I need to regain my equilibrium

I need to get back to my regular schedule.

My morning runs

My long rides



In a nutshell, I need to get back into shape.

Cycling Diary - Flashback: KL series, KLCC 2013

Diari Kayuh Seorang Macik

Petronas Twin Tower, KLCC holds a lot of memories for me.  maklum lah pacik keje kat situ bertahun-tahun dan macik menganggapnya satu mercu tanda yg amat membanggakan.  its like a jewel shining bright, especially at night.

Satu hari sambil macik belek2 fb & wassap geng macik tetiba macik ternampak ada yang post aksi menjulang beskal berlatar belakangkan klcc.  waaaah apa lagi melonjak2 la keinginan macik nak buat jugak.  jolok punya jolok, pujuk punya pujuk akhirnya geng macik setuju menjadi tour guide kami rmeronda2 sekitar kayel.

Kami disyorkan mengguna mtb kerana laluan motor di lebuhraya persekutuan tidak la RB friendly.


Detail Kayuhan:

Total distance - about 60km

Total Time - about 3 hours (termasuk breaks)
Weather - mlm yg breezy.
Route - Dataran Shah Alam, laluan moto fed highway via bangsar and back
Rating - Extremely interesting &  doable for all

Cycling Diary - PDGCC, Si Rusa 05/2013

Diari Kayuh Seorang Macik

Melalui fesbuk macik terbaca ada geng macik yg merancang nak kayuh ke PD.  apa yg sangat2 menarik perhatian macik selain destinasi ia lah route yg amat lah lain dr yg lain - ia melibatkan a boatride & a ferry crossing, sesuatu yg macik belum pernah cuba!!  so tanpa segan silu macik telah meng'invite' diri macik utk mengikuti kayuhan group kawan macik tu... sibaek la mereka semua gentleman2 belaka dan sanggup menerima kehadiran seorang 'aunty' hehehehe.  u're the best OPs, thank you :))

Cycling Old Puteras - they were kind enough to let me gatecrash their party lol

Memandangkan kami asyik bergambar je sepanjang kayuhan ini, maka lets just let the pics do the talking shall we ;))

Kayuhan OPs - Bangi/PD/Bangi 2013

The Route - 130+ km in total

The Beginning

Kami ramai2 berkumpul di wisma unikeb, ukm bangi and macik agak lega bila akhirnya mendapati ramai jugak la muka2 yg macik kenal sbenarnya :))

Starting point - Wisma Unikeb, Bangi

Doa sbelum kayuhan 

The Ride & Pitstops

Secara keseluruhan route yg kami lalui agak sibuk dengan lalu lintas terutama di area bukit pelandok.  ini bermakna rider sekurang2 mesti la dah biasa mengendali diri bersama traffic, tak kira besar (lori)  atau kecik (motosikal).

Here we go gang weeeeehoooooo 

First pitstop @ Medan Selera Sepang

Taking a breather after the attack on bukit pelanduk

Telok kemang... almost but not quite there

Original site of the FMC (1953)

Taz Mobile - support car terbaik ;))

Destinasi utama - Port Dickson Golf & Country Club

PDGCC, si rusa...... a golfer's retreat but the food is great as well ;p

Finally PDGCC.... and lunch!!!!

Cooling down before making way for food

Scrumptious banana leaf lunch

Good food & good company... this is the life peeps

Kewajipan yg pasti

Before leaving, the mandatory pic by the beach

The Boat Ride

Jeti kuala lukut besar, negeri sembilan yang fofular dan menjadi tumpuan para2 peminat ikan & kaki2 pancing tanahair lol.

The excitement of a boatride... with our 'babies' lol

Loading up precious cargo

Thats where we're all headed 

Its our turn to cross 

Boatride done, now to unload

We made it peeps... and we didnt get wet ;p

The Ferry Crossing

The mini ferry service across sg sepang besar connecting bukit pelandok in negeri sembilan & sg pelek in selangor.

Waiting for the ferry

 Queueing up with the locals

And onto the ferry we all go

Tizzy & me.. our first ferry crossing together

Safe & sound over river sepang

The Ending

The last leg back was done in hot weather and when u factor in a full stomach,  it gets to be pretty challenging lol.   there were a few of us who didnt feel good enough to continue, and luckily we had the best support car on the planet - the Taz Mobile!!  another factor to consider, bila membuat kayuhan yg jauh, make sure ada support car untuk membantu ;)

Answering nature's call

Kalau bermasalah tak perlu teruskan kayuhan.. better safe than sorry

Last rider in, almost dusk 

 We made it, from 7am to 7pm... an epic ride indeed

In conclusion, boleh di kategorikan sebagai kayuhan amat BEST!!!!! u must try it ;))  My only regret - macik tak perasan melaka (lubok cina) was just a couple of miles away.  kalau di teruskan i'd have crossed another border.

Next ride - MELAKA!!!

Detail Kayuhan:

Total distance - 130+km

Total Time - almost 12 hours (termasuk pitstops, major breaks and mini breaks but luckily no jailbreaks lol)
Weather - cuaca yg baik tp panassssss.
Route - Unikeb Bangi, Bukit Pelanduk, PDGCC, boatride Jeti Kuala Lukut, feri Sg Sepang and back
Rating - doable for santai riders but must be able to handle single carriageway traffic, quite heavy at some points.

Cycling Diary - Flashback: Morib 2012

Diari Kayuh Seorang Macik

Detail Kayuhan:

Total distance - 132km

Total Time - about 8 hours (termasuk checkpoints, breaks and kes2 tayar pancit sana sini)
Weather - cuaca yg redup dan breezy di sepanjang jalan.
Route - MBSA Kota Kemuning, Batu Laut, Tanjung Sepat and back
Rating - doable for santai riders if speed is not an issue.

Sharing is caring

Okey... so  i'm sharing my activities.   again, after a long long break.  nothing remotely interesting about the ramblings of a macik trying her best to keep fit and active after 50  but who knows, maybe there is someone out there who might feel activated enough to try something, anything hehehehe.

But then where do i start?  again?  lol

I guess for now lets just continue with my cycling 'escapades' rather then my running.  it makes better reading since me & my bike get to go to further places than what me & my sneakers can achieve.

Other than my occasional rides round shah alam and my sad attempts at training along guthrie & kesas highways & the streets of shah alam, i've had a couple of satisfying misadventures with my cohorts lol.

Kayuhan Macik to Kuala Selangor - my first 100km.

Kayuhan Macik to Genting Sempah - was initially part of my training to climb up Frasers hill and to date, i've done it three times.

Kayuhan Macik to Fraser's Hill - i remember feeling so relieved that i actually made it to the top.

Kayuhan Macik to Kg Kampuchea - its a piece of kampuchea in the middle of nowhere

Kayuhan Macik to Morib - the start of the beach series lol

Kayuhan Macik to Tanjung Sepat - we cycled to the very end of the jetty lol

Kayuhan Macik to PD - without doubt, a very interesting ride involving a boat trip and ferry.

Kayuhan Macik to Genting Perez - which included an invirogating dip in the river 

Kayuhan Macik to Kuang - part road part trail and a secret mini waterfall.


Macik Ronda2 Kayel edisi KLCC - hopefully, the start of the city series

Macik  Ronda2 Penang - finally my first cycling event after 2 aborted attempts in the likes of ocbc ride 2012 & janamanjung 2013.

I've managed to recap a few of it already in my 'cycling diary - the macik series' (highlighted in red) and all i need to do now is settle down quietly somewhere and pen it all down, which is actually easier said and done lol.  but have no fear, i WILL perservere!!!

At least i hope so lol.

So see ya soon insyallah :)

Finding a new balance

This year has certainly proven to be a challenging one for me.   its a milestone in my evolution as a woman and every day is a stark reminder that i am aging regardless of what i think or want.

In a life full of ups & downs my body was the only thing safely within my area of control. i could use it or abuse it any which way i wanted, but not anymore.  mother nature has a way of reminding us that time is relentless, it moves ahead no matter what and ravages everything in its path.  and in the end the only one truly in control is our Maker.

Now while my body struggles to find a new foothold and my erratic hormones scramble to stabilise, i am at my weakest.  until such time that i am totally entrenched within my menopause, i should expect such instability to continue.  this year alone marks the greatest number of times i have been down with some ailment or other. starting off with acute gastritis, to a serious bout of shingles, to virulent viruses, right down to the common cough & cold. to date i hv exhausted my allowable quota of 15 days for medical leave from private clinics, something which i have never, ever, done before.

Yup, its a time to reflect, reassess and reinvent.

I have always been active, the degree of which varied throughout the phases of my life.  interspersed between my early years, launching a career and starting a family, i had to make do with the situation and whenever i had no other option, i turned to reading bcos at the very least,  my imagination could still run wild lol.

I love to read, the written word holds a special allure for me.  be it fiction or truth, it frees my spirit to wander wherever i chose.  sadly these days, i'm starting to stay clear of novels and stories.  why? bcos i find myself losing focus and cant seem to sustain the excitement.  if before i could finish a book overnite, now it takes me almost forever bcos i keep forgetting the storyline & the characters.  so thats why its mostly facts & non-fiction for me.  usually self-help, hobbies, interests or the occasional autobiography.

Its the same with movies.  almost gone is my ability to enjoy a good dramatic storyline, especially the one that is wrought with conflict.  my mind automatically shuts down at any sign of emotional overload.  so i put a huge distance between me &  movies.  instead i seek enlightenment thru nat geo, animal planet, cartoons, sports, news or any of the investigative series.  informative, save, relaxing and with minimum drama.  Yup, i have a problem with conflict resolution & emotional entanglements.. it stresses me out, big time.

Which leaves me with very few options to occupy myself.

I could eat myself into becoming an oversized blob.

Or sing myself silly.

Or shop till i drop.

Or just lay myself down pretending to be dead.

None of which is the least bit desirable, obviously lol.

Which of course brings me back full circle to the one thing, apart from my children, that makes me happy.... and that is keeping active.

Whether its running or cycling or climbing hills, dancing or hopping or jiggling butts, as long as i'm sweating it all out, i know i can get through another day, shitty or otherwise.

So, here we go again, menopausal or not, lets keep on staying active lol.  and even though it'll  get a whole lot tougher to do so as the years pile up, from this day forth, i will try my best to share as much of my struggles as i possibly can.  bcos by doing so, i will have to confront my own demons and deal with them head on.  and bcos maybe, just maybe  it'll also help others who are in my shoes ;)

Rejab 1434

أستَغْفِرُ اللهَ العَظِيمَ الَّذِي لاَ إِلهَ إِلاَّ هُوَ الحَيُّ القَيُّومُ وأَتُوبُ إِليه

I seek the forgiveness of Allah, the Most Great, besides Who there is no god; the Living, the Sustainer, and I repent to Him.

Among the months, Rajab is the month of seeking forgiveness. Al-Daylami narrates on the authority of `Ali bin Abi Talib (may Allah ennoble him) that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said: “Seek much forgiveness (from Allah) in Rajab because in every hour (of the month) Allah frees people from the Fire.” When the month entered the Prophet would say, as Anas narrates:

اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لَنَا في رَجَبٍ وَ شَعْبَانَ وَ بَلِّغْنا رَمَضَانَ

“O Allah, bless us in Rajab and Sha`bān and enable us to reach Ramadān!”⁴

It is a blessed month, may Allah bless us and the Ummah in it. In the times of Jahiliyyah the noise of battle would not be heard in this month. This was due to the veneration that people had for the month, even though they were polytheists. Allah revealed concerning this month: They ask you about the sacred month – fighting therein. Say: fighting therein is a grave offence.⁵

Look at the state the Ummah has reached today. Some Muslims have actually declared war in the month of Rajab, not on the disbelievers, but on each other. Some have travelled around spilling the blood of their brothers. Look how far the Ummah has sunk when it has left the Guidance of Allah and His Messenger and surrendered its reins to corrupt people; to disbelievers; to people deceived by their own philosophies!

Our Master said: “Repent to Allah for truly I repent to Allah in every day and night seventy (or one hundred) times.” Allah says in the Hadith Qudsi: “O son of Adam, if your sins were so numerous that they reached the heavens and then you sought My forgiveness I would forgive you and it is nothing to Me.”

If someone allows Rajab to enter and they have no concern for their wrongdoings, then they do not truly possess taqwa. The believer sees his sins as a mountain towering over him which he fears will fall upon his head, whereas the hypocrite sees his sins as a fly which lands on his nose which he brushes away with his hand. One of the Followers was told that a group of people were talking about something which did not concern them. He said: “If they were concerned with their own wrongdoings, they would not have talked about that subject.”

Seek forgiveness in abundance and seek to unite people’s hearts. Beware of provoking hatred, or tale bearing, for “among the worst slaves of Allah are those that constantly bear tales, those that cause division between those that love each other.” Choose words that unite people: Say to My slaves that they should only say those things that are best, for the Devil sows dissension among them.⁶

Attempt to fast in this month. `Ali bin Muhammad al-Rabi` narrates from a chain of narrators most of whom are reliable that one of the Followers asked one of the Companions: “Did the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) fast in Rajab?”

He replied: “Yes, and he would ennoble it.” He would ennoble and honour the month by fasting in it. May Allah awaken our hearts!

Prepare for the first night of Rajab. He said (may Allah bless him and grant him peace): “There are five nights on which du`ā’ is not rejected: the first night of Rajab, the fifteenth night of Sha`bān, Thursday night, the night before `Eid al-Fitr and the night before `Eid al-Nahr (al-Adha).”⁷ Sayyiduna `Ali would spend this night in worship.

May Allah purify our hearts and enable us to take advantage of the time that we have left in this life.

(link - http://abdulkarimyahya.com/2012/05/20/lesson-returning-to-allah-in-repentance-in-rajab/)

A reminder.

Milestone.

It gets lonelier as you grow older.  it really does.  and its not so much about being alone per se, you can surround yourself with a sea of people but you start feeling more an observer than an active participant. you start listening more, internalising more, pondering more.  sad to say you also come to the realisation that people young or old dont really give a rats ass about what you have to say, unless they specifically come to you for advice.  and half of them just seem to be interested in ranting and raving and complaining all the time.

And you suddenly find yourself becoming slow in almost everything you do,  not just slow but in absolute slow mo, the moment to moment kind.  for someone who goes through her days in high gear thats a pretty hard thing to swallow believe me.  not to mention the times that even a million bucks cant get you to recall a certain info or memory, the more you push the more elusive it becomes.  which all culminates into making you feel frustratingly clumsy & crushingly stupid.

Serabut.  semak.  senak.  and to be honest, frightening.

Oh you're saying get a grip woman, everyone grows old and they die, that death stares us in the face all the time but whats scaring the shit outta me is the possibility of a long but useless life.  use-less, as in meaningless, as in not contributing.  worse still if i start becoming a liability... to myself, to the ones i love, to society.

And still clueless at 50 isnt a good sign. nope not good at all.

Hadoi.

Its not about the kids. i've done what i can, now they are all grown and are answerable to their own actions. its not about the spouse.  he's going through his own turbulent midlife passage and unfortunately, is in no position to help me with my problems.  its about me.  about how best i maneuver the final phase of my life as a woman and keeping my dignity, my composure, my self-worth in the process.

I so need a spiritual upgrade.

Cycling Diary - Tg Sepat 14/04/2013

Diari Kayuh Seorang Macik

Oleh kerana minda macik sbelum ni diasak kaw2 oleh kebimbangan, kerisauan & kefening lalat-an mengenai FM sulung macik sehingga tiada ruang untuk perkara lain, aktiviti kayuh macik pun telah melalui detik2 kegersangan yang teramat.  punya la lama tak kayuh macik sampai terasa gayat bila kerabat naek beskal macik yang telah pun mula menunjukkan tanda2 akan berkulat jika keadaan dibiarkan berlarutan.

Bila geng kayuh macik ngajak macik join diorang training ke morib, timbul pulak kebimbangan baru setelah sekian lama tidak beraksi  - eh, bole ker aku ngayuh lagi nih??!!  dek kerana dah mula terasa jugak la gatal2 bontot tapak kaki, macik mengambil keputusan untuk hantam saja la hehehehe.

Servis beskal sbelum kayuh @ Wheelsman Bicycle S13

Kayuhan bermula dari MBSA kota kemuning dan dari seawal pagi lagi dah ramai geng macik yang berkumpul disitu.   halfway there macik dah perasan macik terlupa nak bawak spec mata namun macik teruskan jugak sbb takut melambat2kan kengkawan kalau macik patah balik..... tapi nak jadikan cerita (dan bahan), macik bukan saja terlupa spec rupa2nya kasut pun macik terlupa!!!!!!!!

Terlupa kasut... hantam saja la labu he3

Yang lebih penting, helmet ada so kayuhan masih ON.  selepas smua dah bersedia dan doa selamat dibacakan kami pun memulakan la rombongan 'mcm2 ada' kami (tua, muda, besar, kecik, lelaki, pompuan, berdesup, menyiput, mtb, rb).

Rombongan MKCT & rakan2

Doa sbelum kayuhan

Barisan mak dara & anak2 dara

At the start macik dah mula cuak sebab awal2 lagi dah mula nak terasa bunga2 pancit-us,  namun after the first checkpoint enjin tua macik mula terasa panas dan kayuhan menjadi semakin lancar.  opkos macik tak terkejor depa yang berdesup desap di depan but at least i managed not to slide below 25km/h dijalan yang tidak berbukit dan berliku.

Pada awalnya kayuhan dijangka hanya ke morib namun cuaca yang terterusan marbeles menggalakkan geng macik untuk meneruskan perjalanan hingga ke tanjung sepat.  after all dah alang2, macik pun layan jela.   

The Pitstops 

- bila riders dah berkumpul ramai2 maka banyak la cerita dan ragamnya... yang hyper, yang santai, yang sihat, yang senak, yang mabuk, yang memulas, macam2.  maka demi menjaga kesejahteraan semua, banyak la pitstop dan regrouping yang diadakan.  keadaan sebegini is part and parcel of group cycling, unless of course objective kayuhan semata-mata training yg khusus utk sesuatu event. maka focus sememangnya tertumpu pada speed & timing.

Catching up with the latest news..

Regrouping

Episod Pancit.

- seperti biasa dimana ada kayuhan disitu la akan ada tayar2 yang pancit sesuka hati.  ini juga diantara sebab2 yang mengharuskan ciclista membawa bersama tube spare dan mini pump.  walaupun leceh namun ianya satu keperluaan unless you dont mind carrying ur bike to the nearest kedai beskal hehehehe.

Pancit sana..

Pancit sini..

Sessi makan2 plus sightseeing

- dah penat kayuh apa lagi, refuelling la pulak.  dan bila tenaga dah banyak digunakan maka banyak la perlu diganti hehehehe.  ni la yang macik katakan dulu, kalau macik running mesti tak lalu makan tapi kalau kayuh gerek lapo memanjang.  ni la yang macik risaukan ni...sah skarang macik dah semakin gomuks ish ish.

Makan time

Selepas selesai makan geng kayuh kami si ben & eddie telah mengheret memnbawa kami melawat kawasan terdekat sehingga la ke hujung jeti.  terperanjat gak la penduduk tempatan bila jeti yang sebegitu sempit di sesakkan dengan kehadiran musang2 dan rakan2 hehehe.

Macik sakura

Ann trying her hand at errrr, not sure what he3

Jetty Tanjung Sepat

Jamming up the jetty lol

Time to head for home

- dah pusing2 semahunya maka kena la bersedia utk pulang.  alhamdulillah cuaca baik masih bertahan dan dengan perut yang masih penuh, kami berkayuh balik ke kota kemuning, ada yang masih mampu berdesup desap namun ramai juga yang dah semakin seloow melooow.  alhamdulillah walaupun dengan adanya 2 support car yang terbaek di pasaran (kudos to zaman & pie) pengayuh2 tegar masih bertahan dan tiada yang kecundang naek support car.  and by 4.30pm everyone made it back to kota kemuning safe & sound.  All in all,  rombongan mkct & rakan2 ke tanjung sepat sgt berjaya :)

Headcount..

Long ride back

Nothing beats the airconditioning @ petronas

Kayuh macik kayuh

Finally back @ kota kemuning

Detail Kayuhan:

Total distance - 132km

Total Time - about 8 hours (termasuk checkpoints, breaks and kes2 tayar pancit sana sini)
Weather - cuaca yg redup dan breezy di sepanjang jalan.
Route - MBSA Kota Kemuning, Batu Laut, Tanjung Sepat and back
Rating - doable for santai riders if speed is not an issue.