JUSTIFFA

2012

2012-01-29T15:17:00.003+08:00

Its already January would you believe? i've given up trying to play catch-up with time he3... so just bring it on ;-))

I dont really know why or how but the words have stopped flowing, from my head to my fingers to the page. its now just a jumbled up mess, each word vying for my attention and in the end not one is making much sense lol.

But i need to think so that my brain will continue creating the all important synapses, god forbid i lose my marbles so early hua3. so bear with me while i try to find my way back to writing again. no, i was never much good at it but at least it served as an outlet for me to express my thoughts & feelings. dams have been known to burst their banks if their spillways get clogged up lol.

Bukit Broga - Jan 2012

So be seeing ya peeps.. insyallah :-))

Salam Maal Hijrah

2011-11-26T18:14:00.000+08:00

1433H.. semoga ia tahun yang membawa berkat & rahmat yang berterusan.

Lord have mercy on us, forgive us our sins and bless us with your love & guidance, amin.

Selamat Menyambut Maal Hijrah 1433H.

Closure.. and onwards we go!

2011-11-25T11:45:00.000+08:00

A lil outdated perhaps but i just needed to put it up for closure ;)

My 1st half mara certificate, PJ half marathon 30th October 2011. maybe a trivial matter for some but a BIG deal for me.

Okey, moving on now.

To better things ahead, insyallah :D

PJ Half Marathon - my first 21km

2011-11-03T17:52:00.001+08:00

I keep telling myself i need to write this, if not for anything else, for my own reference bcos my brains turn to mush so easily these days lol.

So before i completely forget all the details (sadly there are blanks already huhu) heres sharing my first half marathon experience. but a word of caution though, this report is based mostly on my feelings rather than technical info which till now, i barely understand nor quite make much sense of lol.

A race actually starts way before the flag off, even before the race day itself and for me, 3 days earlier. why the non runner might ask? bcos the body needs to be prepped for the beating it was going to be put through, especially a well-used (luckily-not-abused) old body like mine lol. once you make the decision to run a race you have to accept the responsibility of minimising the damage... otherwise be ready to suffer the consequences.

So there i was hydrating myself with fluids and downing the necessary ORS till i got pretty pissed off with having to piss so often hahaha. and 3 days of such an activity seem like a looong time until i remind myself suffering cramps on race day would be even worse! oh and then there was also carbo-loading time. i tell ya, having to eat bcos u hafta kinda takes away the joy from eating. but i slogged on regardless.. bcos truth be told, i was pretty damn scared of running that first 21km.

Yes i've been putting in the miles and i've been consistent in pounding that tarmac but, my limit was plus minus 15km. and during all this time, my weekly lsd has been, eerrrr dont laugh now, 8km which was 2 laps round the tasik. only this year have i upgraded myself to doing 3 laps, which equals 12km. so i'm sure you can understand my concern and in as much as i respect the distance, i also need to respect the age. i'm no spring chicken y'all lol.

I made sure i had a good nites sleep 2 days before the race bcos i knew for a fact i'd be a restless, hyper mess eve of it. but would you believe i dozed off around 3am and didnt wake up until 5.15am bcos my alarm didnt go off as it should, which was an hour earlier!!! hah, turns out i didnt turn it on properly, careless me. we had to rush and i was so thankful that golfman, the dear dear man, had actually agreed to be with me. for the first time ever, he'd be there from start to finish. yeah it was a day of firsts lol.

Surprisingly the road to stadium PJ wasnt all that jammed and he dropped me off with plenty of time to spare. there was a sea of runners everywhere i turned but i couldnt recognise a single familiar face, and feeling panicky bcos my D-tag was still inside its plastic and i sure as hell didnt know how to put it on (by this time the explanation didnt make any sense at all lol). the moment my eyes hit a friendly face, i quickly approached the guy (who was innocently doing his stretches by the way) to help me out. mr. kar tat, thank you for being such a gentleman.

Thank god by gun time i was already with friends, my anr kids jey & zyra and my buddy azza. yup, i was ready, as ready as i ever will be lol. and with the shot ringing clearly in the morning air, we were off.

In a sea of people way at the back

Just before starting, i had downed one packet of power gel, strawberry/banana flavour 1x caffein strength and although my comrade-in-arms, juney the anakmami, had earlier reminded me (again & again - thx babe) to set my watch i still forgot to and only remembered about 10mins into the run. so there goes the actual timing hua2 but 10 was an easy enough figure to add on so i wasnt too worried lol. anyway i was also using the allocated water & sponge stations to gauge my run.

It was an interesting feeling to be running along the federal highway. we were deviated to the motorcyclist lane and there was this underground tunnel that was rather dark, i feared tripping over stones & potholes bcos of my weak ankles. my knees have not let me down yet but my ankles, thats another story. the first 15mins is always the toughest for me bcos thats the time i take to warm up but by then i was starting to feel pretty good about everything. it was a beautiful sunday morning and there i was sharing it with others of the same passion.

I gave the first water station @ km 4 a skip. they were serving 100plus and it was only about 30mins into the run.. i didnt need water bouncing about in my tummy as yet. at some point we had to merge into the highway itself and once we hit the flyover, some runners were beginning to slow down. thankfully, my coach taught me not to fear hills and my hillwork certainly paid off. at this point i kept reminding myself not to push it bcos this was going to be a much longer run than usual. i had to pace myself.

I looked forward to the 2nd water station @ km 8 and thankfully they had mineral water. i didnt quite need the 100plus bcos i was planning on taking more power gels. after the 1st hour, i downed my second, this time tangerine, 2x caffein strength. once we hit the old subang airport road (dunno what they call it now), i was just cruising along, sometimes passing other runners while other runners passed me lol. i saw friends along the way.. there was aini, ruby, lily & others and seeing their familiar faces somehow made the run more real & meaningful.

The sponge stations were a godsend bcos by then the day was heating up. the sun was shining oh so brightly and it was also sapping away at my strength. nothing hits me worse than heat and we sure had a whole lot of that during the pj half mara. i dont drink all that much when i'm running but this time i made it a point to stop at each water station even if for a sip or two.

By the time we were nearing the u-turn, i was seeing a lot of other runners on the other side and catching sight of jey bounding away like a wildhorse really gave me a boost.. my feet felt that much lighter lol. he later told me he actually went thru bouts of walking bcos of cramps but thankfully i didnt catch him that way lol. it would've somehow brought me down bcos jey was a strong runner and i looked up to him for inspiration. i was also focussing a lot on what my body was telling me since i didnt know how it would take on the extra pounding but so far so good, the knees were holding up and the muscles were fine.

Sometime after making the u-turn i caught sight of jaja, a friend who was also doing her first half and we had our little game of 'potong memotong' until she went along her way and left me with a rather beautiful view of her, eerrr, derriere (jangan marah ja) lol. oh and another friend azza, who was on turbo boost that day, zoomed merrily along passing us never to be seen again, until after the race (way to go babe).

The sun was merciless. when we hit the last flyover i was dragging my feet, my energy draining away slowly but surely. earlier, i wasnt sure about a third gel but i'm thankful i brought a spare anyway and downed it without hesitation, still another tangerine. i'm thinking that its probably what gave me the strength to finish the run strong.

When we turned the corner and hit the last stretch, i was feeling much better and when the stadium started coming into view my feet was beginning to have a life of its own lol. surprisingly i picked up the pace and the fatigue was just a memory. catching sight of golfman when i neared the stadium made my day and the shout out by ray added to the boost.

Once inside the stadium, i felt like i was tearing down the track but of course i'm just a macik struggling to finish the race lol. by then my running family was there to run along with me and it was a wonderful feeling indeed, thanks guys for being there and being part of it.

My ANR 'boys' at the home stretch

My PJ HM results

The medal

PJ Half Marathon - 21km
Timing - 2:20:00.54 chip time, 2:20:38.40 guntime.

And that was my first half marathon. i feel that it was a race well run bcos i felt strong at the finish and i didnt suffer any pain or injury, no cramps, not even chaffing or blistering and just muscle ache & soreness post run. of course there is much room for improvement but thankfully it was a race i enjoyed.

Now on to the next half lol ;)

The road to my 1st half mara (1)

2011-11-01T18:00:00.005+08:00

I finally popped my hm cherry. i really really did. at long last its over and done with.

I completed my 21k woohoo!!

Yup, fi-nal-ly.

I love to run, we've long established that. but i'm also very very wary of hurting or injuring myself . yeah maybe i'm a pansy but i also didnt need an "i told you so" to break my almost non-existent self-confidence. so by the usual standards, i have really taken my own sweet time to be where i am right now.

My 1st 10k run in 2005... and my 1st half marathon in 2011. thats quite a big gap considering the fact that i have been running consistently between all that time. why didnt i try it sooner you might ask? since i loved running so much, wasnt i interested in ever running a marathon?

Larian Shah Alam 10k - 2005

Larian Shah Alam 10k - 2006

Larian Shah Alam 10k - 2007

Larian Rakyat ICity - 2009

KOTR Shah Alam - 2009

Of course i am.. i dream of becoming a marathoner. i want to become a marathoner. but its a pretty big endeavor and to someone who has been pounding the miles mostly on her own, slogging away blindly with only her passion for motion pushing her on, its almost monumental.

I started late. although we like to say better late than never, it does have its drawbacks. my body worked against me most of the time and finding like minded people my age wasnt easy, in fact i didnt find anyone in my neck of the woods. and back then i was just too embarrassed to join in with the younger crowd. i felt out of place, pretty much a sore thumb. i felt i had no business being with them & dragging everyone down to my level of 'un-fitness'.

So i went about it on my own. since my family & friends werent into running, i turned to the net for the latest dos & donts. oh what would i do without mr google lol and i also did a whole lot of stalking - runner's blogs, forums, the likes. and slowly i got to know some pretty awesome people who later became my friends, my mentors. peeps, you know who you are, thank you.

And earlier this year i finally summoned enough courage to join a running group, one which of course consisted mainly of young 'uns but it didnt really matter anymore bcos the time had come for me to improve & be serious about my running. if i really wanted to be a marathoner, i had to do something about it.

My first outing with ANR Shah Alam

Running tips by coach Edan Shah

Hill work

Drills..

.. and more drills.

I now know that i had made the right decision. adination of runners shah alam.. they took this macik in and made her feel welcomed. it didnt matter that i was probably the oldest member and in the likes of their moms, they accepted me as part of the team and with the support of my running family, i have indeed improved in leaps & bounds.

Seremban HM 10k - my 1st ever cash prize

KLIUC run - my 2nd cash prize

Running is still a spiritual experience for me, i feel closest to my maker when i'm out there pounding the tarmac mile after mile.. but it has also become a time spent with friends, rejoicing the very tenacity & resilience of the human spirit, of conquering the fears & inadequacy within ourselves, and of setting our spirits free.

Yes, with my 1st half marathon done, i hope it marks the beginning of better things ahead. like they say, its not just about the destination, its also about the journey. and i'm pretty sure it will be a journey of great discovery.. about myself, others & life itself.

Lets hit the road

Race report coming up next ;)

Pre race jitters

2011-10-29T08:47:00.001+08:00

I know i've been away for awhile but lets just jump right into it shall we?

Nothing better than the 'now' right hehehe ;)

I'm feeling more than a little anxious this morning. its a beautiful, bright sun shiny day, dont get me wrong... its just that tomorrow, tomorrow i'll be running a race and when it comes to races i tend to lose whatever cool i have and become this jittery moron.

Resah. seriau. cuak. langsung tak boleh rileks.

It'll be my 1st half marathon. i'll be running 21km on sunday morning with others who like me, are equally addicted to pounding the tarmac. although my running has only taken me as far as 16km but i know i'm good for it. insyallah finishing it will not be a problem, acing it at a respectable time is of course another matter altogether haha. but i'm just aiming to finish it on my feet, still up... and running :)

So, the jitters & anxiety arent really warranted. i shouldnt be feeling this way mainly bcos 1. i have been running for some time now (since 2005) and i have been quite consistent at it, give and take a few short breaks. 2. i'm not competitive and am not trying to prove anything or make any kind of statement. sooo it shouldnt matter and i should just look at it as just another run right?

My 1st race in 2005 - Shah Alam 10k Run

Heh, i wish!!

Well at least i had a good nites sleep bcos for sure i wont be getting any winks tonite huahua.

For better for worse, PJ Half Marathon, here i come ;p

Hopefully, i'll be up & about to write about it hehehe.. wish me well peeps :)

Time flies

2011-09-19T23:26:00.001+08:00

OMG its been ages.

Really.

And almost forgetting my password drove the fact home even further.

I gotta start writing even tho i dont actually know where to begin, so much has happened.

But top on the list is... I'VE HIT 50 woot woot!!

Yup 50.. wish me well peeps, i'll be needing it ;p

28 years

2011-06-10T06:30:00.002+08:00

Aku bersyukur segala nikmat Mu ya Rabb.

After 28 years, you're still the one for me and whatever the future may bring, we'll always be able to look back & remember there was never a shortage of love.

Happy anniversary.

Dream on

2011-06-04T09:02:00.002+08:00

Yup i'm still alive & kicking, up & running hehehe. the hard days & long nites havent gotten to me yet.. and its gonna take more than that to bring this soldier's daughter down LOL.

Right now i find myself focusing more on my running. probably wearing my kneecaps off in the process but i'm happy. and i'm feeling really good about myself. i'll be hitting 50 in a couple of months but oddly, i've never felt better and more in control of my body (which is more than i can say for my restless, wayward soul but we cant have everything now can we lol).

1973 - Rumah Hijau, ABS Mentakab

Becoming a member of a running group was probably one of the smartest decisions i'd made in a long while. theres nothing more gratifying then being with like minded people who share the same crazy passion as you do. things like voluntarily running up and down a steep hill to the verge of puking while others are chilling out watching their fav drama on tv. and running round and round and round the field close to becoming mental just so u can clock up an hour of running on grass while all around you the rest of humanity's goofing about having fun.

2011 - ANR Shah Alam

And what keeps me coming back for more? theres nothing that can quite compare with the satisfaction of using ur body to the max. and apart from the x word lol, running is the thing for me. maybe i'm just addicted to the endorphine rush but its what makes me feel good and feeling good, when you've already put in half a century of living, is definately on top of my list.

I'm still not really that interested in running races but now i'm slowly working my way towards making my dream come true.. to have the strength & courage to finish at least one marathon in my lifetime.

Maybe not now, maybe not ever but as long as i am still running, the hope is there and the dream is still alive :)

Hard days, long nites

2011-05-15T22:46:00.000+08:00

There are days when all the juice is sucked outta you and you find yourself with not much left to go on. you dig deep, to the very depths of your innermost soul for that tiny little spark to light the furnace up again.

Its hard going but persevere you must bcos the only other option is to succumb to the cold.. the barren, empty landscape of a lost cause.

"Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate (from the truth) after You have guided us and grant us mercy. Truly, You are the Bestower" - (Al Quran V 3:8)

His day

2011-05-11T07:16:00.001+08:00

He was born 53 years ago in a place called temangan lama.

I was told by my mom we had a cat named temangan once, back in those early days when my dad was posted in pengkalan chepa. i was around 5.

Random or another one of life's coincidences?

Whatever it may be, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Golfman, may the years ahead be blessedly happy & healthy ones <3

Lets work it

2011-05-03T06:51:00.004+08:00

I'm not an athlete, nor am i athletic but i've always had these weird dreams of running. you know how it is that sometimes you dream of endlessly falling, falling, falling from some great height and suddenly waking up midfall? its the same except this time its running, running, running into the great horizon, sometimes fast sometimes in slow mo but always in constant motion. and i can still taste that lingering feeling of power & freedom when i wake up.

So maybe its just my subconcious telling me to break free of all that binds me. maybe i'm just being fanciful. but whatever it is, instead of speeding off into the sunset in a sleek powerful ferrari or cruising the super highways on a rumbling harley, its being in control of my own body that excites me enough to keep dreaming about.

Theres nothing more beautiful than rippling muscles set in motion. you see it in the lions & tigers while they're chasing their prey or the wild horses when they're galloping the fields. and even men when they're either bent on out running each other or out chasing their own demons lol.

I admit, i'll always take that extra second to check out the runner that i'm passing while i drive down that road. its a subconcious reaction, a feeling of connection. heck i cant explain it well enough for it to come off other than being fanciful. but i think other people who seem to like pounding god's earth would understand lol.

In a world of uncertainty and chaos, its liberating to feel that at least we can be in control of our body. its god's gift and its up to us to use it in the best possible way.

For me its running.. but theres walking, climbing, swimming, diving, dancing, whatever moves you. just get out there and work it ;p

Have a good week ahead peeps!

Another first

2011-04-15T13:30:00.004+08:00

Only last week i was raving about my first nite run. i'd always wanted to run through the streets of shah alam with its pretty blinking lights and never ending flow of people. the students of UiTM and MSU play a big part in making sure that the place is kept alive. but sadly with no one in the family actually sharing my predilection to running, my wish had to stay buried. although not of faint heart, i wasnt about to venture out alone at nite, no sirreee lol.

Yup running at nite turned out to be exactly as i pictured it.. absolutely smashing hehehe. it gets progressively cooler as the nite moves along unike the day when it gets hotter & hotter. heat has never worked for me... in fact its my mortal enemy.

Last wednesday not only did i complete another nite run, i also did my first 14k!!

14k Route - From Sek 13 to Bkt Bandaraya & back.

I may have been running consistently for well past 6 years but truth of the matter is, i only average 4 - 5km per run, my longest distance being 12km. so i was understandably, a teeny weeny bit worried to be running with the group.. they're mostly a bunch of hyperactive young 'uns with their age going for them lol. me, i'm the makcik who could suddenly, out of the blue run out of steam and subsequently hold everyone back!! gawd i didnt want to be the oddball who should've known better and just stayed home baking cookies hehehe.

The ladies just before the run.

The men in action

The me huffin' & puffin' lol

Completion of first half - another 7k to go.

Thankfully i made it. oh there were a couple of wicked hills alright but it turned out ok. and by breaking the run up into 2 parts with a short break in between, our coachie also managed to turn it into an enjoyable experience for all of us. with members of varied capabilities, such a move kept the team spirit up & the members cohesive from start to finish.

Mission accomplished!!

aNR shah alam rawks... come join us peeps ;p

Beyond the beaten path

2011-04-14T08:37:00.000+08:00

For the past 6 years i have generally stuck to the 3.8k loop of the shah alam lake gardens. that route would take me past the 'popular' spots (mainly the 3 taichi areas and the playgrounds) as well as the lonely stretches.

Theres also the reflexology hut that not only offers a mini path for use but also serves as a meeting place for most of the taichi practitioners. its a popular place and sometimes its quite difficult to find a spot of your own.

Many tend to forget or overlook the fact that there actually is another reflexology path at the extreme end of the tasik (the one beside kedai kopi dua). its bigger and actually better bcos it consists of 3 separate paths, one of which is specifically catered for the senior citizen.

Its where i spend my mornings whenever i'm on a running break.

After about half an hour of walking through the path, its feeding the turtles & fishes then on to my favourite spot for a little stretching and practising my asanas or yoga poses.

A great way to start any day believe me ;D

Taking down a pop-up

2011-04-11T16:24:00.003+08:00

Late last year AH managed to coerce her daddy into buying her a sugar glider. she wanted a pet when she was away at casa. and of course i couldnt, wouldnt let her take nicolei. he was undoubtedly the darling of the family.

Milo has long since grown from a timid little fury ball into a good size horny male pining for a mate. the poor sod is already showing signs of balding, an indication that he's more than ready to start a family. the plan that AH had cooked up with her friend was actually pretty sound... they were both getting sugar gliders of different gender to be paired off when the time was right. unfortunately, up till now her friend has failed to deliver his side of the bargain leaving poor milo high & dry.

In an attempt to make milo a little happier (and bcos AH & me actually like 'main pondok2' lol), i bought a pop-up tent from tesco so that we could play with milo to our hearts content in a controlled environment outside of his cage.

The first day the tent was up guess who claimed it as his own?

Well, mr nicolei, king of the heap of course lol.

He made himself comfortable and slept in there throughout the day... and nite hehehe. and was delirious when AH decided to join him with her pillows & blankets. looks like milo will have to make do with his cage after all. and truth be told, i was actually a little worried about him peeing all over the tent, rendering everything soiled & smelly.

But after a week i was pretty tired of the tent occupying almost half of my bedroom. i wanted my space back and it just had to come down. i can always pop it back up again in a couple of weeks for the fun to start all over again.

What i didnt bargain for was my inability to fold it back down to its storage size... and the instructions that came with it didnt help in any way at all!!!

I twisted it this way and that but it still refused to cooperate and was more than willing to pop right back up again.

Help!!!

Even the kiddoes couldnt figure it out and after hours of not getting anywhere, we decided to abandon the whole thing and leave it for another day. i even deliberated about going back to tesco for assistance. but i then got caught up with more pressing matters and the stubborn tent became nico's sanctuary.

But as the days rolled by it was getting more and more on my nerves.. until one morning i decided right then & there i was going to get it down even if it killed me (cewah,,dramatic la skit kan hehehe). and in that instant that i reached for the steel frames, i suddenly realised this was the one thing that i'd forgotten to google!!!! hehehe, me the self professed google ~~slut~~ maniac forgot all about googling?

So, to cut the story short, i found out i wasnt the only one having major problems with the pop-ups and that there're more than a dozen vidoes on utube giving step by step guide on how to tackle the stubborn tents lol.

Thank God, i have my room back :)

A first of many

2011-04-08T23:55:00.002+08:00

I finally did something i should have done a long time ago... join a running club.

Adination of runners shah alam has actualy been around for quite some time and although i'm aware of its existence, i just didnt feel it was for me. there i was, a makcik who knew nuts about running, with no targets and nothing but her love of movement going for her.

And the thought of being with all the strong young runners was pretty scary lol.

But then i guess like most things in life, it was actually a matter of the right timing. my break from work has given me the freedom to explore a lot of areas that hadnt been accessible to me before and i can now pursue the things that i love, running being a big part of it.

One thing led to another and before i knew it, i was doing drills lol. it doesnt matter that i'm probably the oldest makcik in the group, it doesnt matter that people are throwing me funny looks.. i'm just happy that i now have the opportunity to better myself and be with others who share the same passion.

I'm still the target-less makcik who just loves to run and isnt too concerned about racing or PBs.. but at least now i'm more informed lol.

And i finally, finally got my wish of running through the beautifully lighted streets of shah alam.. my first nite run ever!! and it was great :)

I guess there'll be more running stories after this lol.

Aie's 26

2011-03-28T22:29:00.001+08:00

The Cikgu is 26 today. may his life forever be blessed.

Yesterday we had an early celebration. his gf made a surprise appearance and after cutting his ever-so-healthy high fibre birthday cake at home, we made our way to dinner.

It coincided with earth hour and turned out to be a merry little affair. and although it would've been more meaningful with AA & AI present, it was just one of those things... i'm sure they would've wanted to be around if they could.

We luvya cikgu... happy birthday <3

Blogger's block

2011-03-21T11:57:00.004+08:00

Heh.

My life feels like its on hold most of the time. and my thoughts are a jumbled up mess. its all churning round and round in my head without any beginning or end. which doesnt bode well for any form of consistent writing. i can only manage a couple of sentences these days and even then its all pretty disjointed lol.

But i still hafta unload one way or another and writing has always helped me think things out.

So, i guess i'll just hang in there and go with the flow. hopefully sooner or later i'll be able to share more meaningful stuff other than ultra brief recounts of my running lol.

Lately the demons have been having a field day with me so today i added an extra loop to my run just to chase 'em away lol. all in all i managed to put in 12k in 90mins. nothing great but enough to send some of 'em packing, for now at least.

And i'm looking forward to a long monkey-ing session later in the day hehehe. anyone care to join me?

Lets sweat it all out peeps ;p

Oh btw, part of my duties when golfman is away includes...

repairing leaky roofs -_-'

Mashhad

2011-03-19T22:53:00.001+08:00

How i long to travel like my beloved.

Keep me close to ur heart.. and please take care <3

Back to the same old.

2011-03-17T15:50:00.002+08:00

Damn.

When you go i become....

dysfunctional!!!

I'm hanging up the cape, i cant be superwoman no more. its me that needs taking care of this time.

There're gaps where there shouldnt be but life goes on and for now i'm filling it up with.. running.

Thank god for my runs. it clears my head. it keeps me balanced. and its the time when i talk to God the most.

Today i managed to put in 11km. its the 2nd day with my new adizero tempo and so far, very good lol.

Back to pounding the pavement y'all ;p

Trodding the barren path

2011-03-16T13:43:00.001+08:00

- Clocked in 7.5k for my morning run

- Cleared my chores for the day

- Settled some payments at the bank

- Washed & cleaned both his cars

- Checked my emails and updates

- Now keeping up with the latest on astro

Ceh, its only halfway thru the day yet this restlessness still remains.

Everytime you go away....

Lion City

2011-03-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

It was a short, short flight (blink blink there already?) compared to the 10 hour butt killer trip to istanbul. but this time i was with golfman, this time i wasnt alone.. i had him with me :D

Yay!!

By 8.30 thereabouts we were safely deposited into the heart of the city.

The weather was good... and singapore is so beautiful at nite.

The view from our balcony

I'm looking forward to checking out the pool & gym tomorrow. while he's off doing his thing, i'll be able to make up for lost time.

Yup, its time to pop the boil ekekekeke ;p

The boil

2011-03-01T23:34:00.002+08:00

Its been a week since he's been back and all that time i've managed to put in only 1 hour at the gym. not really complaining since its more than a fair trade.. his presence for buckets of sweat lol. but for someone who depends on the endorphin rush to feel good, its tough. in fact i swear i'm feeling more and more like a boil each passing day, one thats close to bursting - all swollen & clogged up.

I need to 'pop' real soon...

(Pic from google images)

Yikes (borrowing from the anak mami hehehe) i need to RUN!!!!!!!

Motivation in numbers.

2011-02-18T00:27:00.002+08:00

I have a box of cds & dvds covering a whole spectrum of 'movement' - from yoga to pilates to belly dancing to samba to hip hop to heart pounding aerobics. and usually i end up only partially involved, somewhat distracted, nowhere near the sweaty, smelly animal that i become at the end of my sessions at the studio lol.

Right.

Like most other meaningful stuff in our lives, the mind over matter thingy, well its easier said than done. it only works if you have a will of steel. sadly, mine is closer to wood lol, put too much pressure and it'll more than likely bend & break.

Maybe its the age. i find myself needing motivation more and more these days. probably thats why i find myself spending so much time at the gym. the interaction with others equally committed to sustaining a healthy lifestyle is both comforting and motivating.

Or, maybe i'm just lonely lol.

Anyway, exercising is more interesting with friends. we eventually carry each other thru... thru the sweat, the aches, the pain, and on certain days, the lethargy hehehe. there really is motivation in numbers.

But having said all that, i still find it easier to run alone. i'm too comfortable with my own pace and trying to match somebody else's, especially if they're faster, just creates tension. i bet by now you've noticed that i avoid pushing myself.. not unless its absolutely necessary.

I'm more wood than steel remember lol.

Gawd, i'm rambling. i always turn loco the last few days prior to golfman's return. i go thru months without him with my sanity intact but the nearer it is to seeing him, the more unbearable it gets. its as if all the feelings that i suppress is rushing up to the surface all at once.

I'm getting too old for this la yang.

The Chosen One

2011-02-15T08:38:00.010+08:00

12 rabiul-awal marks the birth of our beloved prophet. the maulidur rasul.. a few are of the opinion that its celebration is bida'ah but for me personally, it has always served as a wake up call, a reminder.

He is Allah's beloved, the chosen one and I am guilty of not knowing him as well as i should, even after all this time.

Join me. lets get to know him better.

1. Al-Raheeq Al-Makhthum, the sealed nectar.

2. The Life Of Prophet Muhammad

3. The Characteristics Of Prophet Muhammed

4. A Blessing to Mankind.

5. Muhammad PBUH in the Bible

6. The Prophet from A - Z

7. The Guidance of Muhammad PBUH

(E-books: courtesy of Islam Future)

The Replacement

2011-02-10T22:51:00.005+08:00

I am ecstatic. truly.

I have finally found a replacement for 'wak maimon' the lady with the fingers of steel. my bidan & favourite masseuse.

Yay yay.

I like moving my body parts and sweating ~~like a hog~~ till it drips hehehe. but such activities aint too good for creaky joints & shrinking muscle so i counter it all by getting myself a good massage every once in a while.

But its been quite a while now, a rather long while.

Its unfortunate that wak mon has lost much of her hearing, turning communication into quite a problem. she's also not as active as she used to be and have been known to turn people away. maybe she's slowly winding down, maybe its time for her to stop. she is after all already into her 80s.

Which leaves me in a quandary. wak mon spoilt it for me by setting a certain standard.. a session with her would leave me a little bruised (she really has fingers of steel), a little battered (she doesnt hold back on the kneading & pummelling lol) but otherwise very rejuvenated.

How the hell was i going to find someone like her?

And cutting the story short, i did... and right behind my backyard no less hehehe.

At the place that we (me, the daughter, golfman) usually go for everything & anything to do with hair, theres also other services like facial, massage, sauna & spa related stuff. but i've never really paid much attention to any of it. not until recently that is.

I found out that the young masseuse came from a long lineage of masseuses/masseurs.. her mommy's a mak bidan and her daddy's a retired tukang urut. now that immediately caught my interest bcos it means that she's not just a young lady armed with modern techniques (which i care squat about). she also has know how thats been passed down thru the years. and that made me more than willing to give her a try lol.

So yesterday i treated myself to a 40 min sauna followed by 2 hour full body massage. and finished it off with a 2 hr treatment facial today.

Tucked in the little corner, the sauna

Yours truly ~~chillin'~~ sweating it out

Where the 'dough' gets rolled & kneaded ekekeke

Heh, i feel great!!

Like i said, i've finally found myself a replacement ;D

Never give up

2011-02-07T16:24:00.002+08:00

An upgrade's been long overdue, i've been doing the same old same old for far too long. with my new gym membership i'm now able to establish a new schedule for my running & cross training. and its starting to look a whole lot more interesting these days lol.

And my maintenance run is now 8km instead of the usual 4. after a month's trial, i'm happy to see that is doable, at least 3x a week. and i'm hoping to stick with it until it becomes the new norm for me.

Jom, join me, lets eat better and be more active this year. lets be fitter, happier & healthier.

Tucking into a yummylicious plate of sotong kangkong... after putting in 8k, i refuse to feel guilty hehehe.

At least, lets try to lol :D

Taking stock

2011-02-05T10:32:00.007+08:00

1961 marks the year i was born, which makes me 50 come september. half a century under my belt, with husband, children & a good life, alhamdulillah i am so blessed.

But where did the years go? i dont want to sound like a person in denial but really, it just doesnt feel as if 50 years have passed me by. wasnt it only yesterday i was pulling prank after prank on my classmates.. only yesterday that i left family & friends to start my married life in a strange land, only yesterday we were clueless parents raising kids with medical problems, only yesterday my body was free of aches & pain lol. oh and lets not forget the stranger that stares back at me each time i pass by a mirror. sca-ry i tell ya.

With my mates back in semsas circa 1976

With golfman in new hampshire circa 1984

With kiddoes in melbourne circa 1995

Still it would be stupid of me NOT to take stock of all the changes that have occured through the years. knowledge is power and the same applies to self awareness. we empower ourselves with self knowledge.. to at least maximise strengths, minimise weaknesses. as the age pile up, we'd need all the help we can get lol.

In trying to keep myself fit & healthy, i've remained 'connected' or should i say, very much in tune with my body and it helps to keep track of the changes. what was easy peasy before could take quite a toll on us now. these days i dont skip warm ups and cool downs bcos i know i'd have to pay for it later.. trust me aching muscles, crick necks, tender knees arent fun at all.

Everyone who knows me know that i love running & jumping about like a mad monkey lol but i do have to be mindful of the impact i put on my creaky joints. it would be irresponsible of us not to respect the years that we have put on. i keep telling friends, we need to push ourselves so as not to stagnate but we dont need to punish ourselves either. finding a balance is crucial but thats easier said than done lol.

With the 'weekend warriors' in genting last year.

Yours truly right there in the middle hehehe.

Theres much we can do to help with our bodies' predisposition to the diseases programmed by our genetic codes.... even if we cant do away with it altogether, we can at the very least delay it. my late father and each of his siblings suffer the fate of diabetes, and my maternal side has a strong tendency towards rheumatoid athritis. so far i've managed to sidestep the primary list of modern day afflictions - diabetes, hypertension, high cholestrol, the big c. alhamdulillah the comprehensive health screening i did last year came back with better results than i'd expected.

Still, when i wake up every morning i have proof that my joints are working against me. that rheumatoid athritis thingy is already rearing its ugly head. and with menopause just round the corner, the going will only be getting tougher. but, it helps that my body's still functioning as it should be. not that we can totally escape what mother nature intended but we shouldnt leave too much to chance.

So friends.. lets keep moving our butts k hehehe. being physically active not only keeps us fit & healthy, it helps spiritually too. nothing like an alert mind to help us decipher the message of the Lord.

Its ~~january~~ february (already?) and i'm setting up a base reference for the year. you do the same ;p

Age - 50 yrs
Height - 157 cm
Weight - 48 kg
BMI - 19.5

Keeping busy

2011-02-03T22:18:00.004+08:00

I cant begin to tell you how liberating it feels NOT to have to go to work in the mornings. after almost 27 yrs of following the beat of somebody else's drums, i'm now dancing to my own. and its pure bliss ;p

In between chores, catching up with my reading, ferrying AH to classes (its been ages since she last went back to casa), i've been sneaking short, romantic interludes with golfman heh heh heh.

We've been meeting up in istanbul.

Taking a ferry to Kadikoy over on the asian side.

Meet the 'blind' couple hehehe

Catching a snooze @ attaturk aeroport.

And apart from running, i've also been frequenting the gym. its generally a young crowd there but they're a friendly bunch and i've become 'the aunty' who always seem to be popping in & out whenever she pleases lol. i've joined almost all the classes - bootcamp, aerobics, dance, yoga... with the exception of muai thai. actually i almost signed up even for that one but i realised i didnt quite fancy all the punching & kicking (ouch) necessary to turn my knuckles & shin into numb zones hehehe. but the true blue thai instructors are really cool, they make it seem so easy.

Guess who's on the extreme right

Xclusive fitnesz rawks no doubt about it.. but i guess i'll just stick with what i can do ;p

Side stitches

2011-01-05T10:27:00.003+08:00

I really must do something about my side stiches. i cant just let it take over my run anytime it wants to. it certainly was a bad one this morning. enuf to make me wanna stop but i pressed on albeit slower than a constipated snail lol. thankfully it went away after km 2 and i could get back to my normal pace .

When it hits it really hurts and always on my right side. the spot still feels a little tender even now.

Maybe age is catching up and i cant get away without a proper warm up anymore. i did feel more than a little sluggish when i started. and i've noticed that i usually get it whenever i stop or slow down in a middle of a run. which doesnt bode well for my plans of running a half/full mara. mana bole lari same pace throughout? for that matter mana bole lari without incorporating walks in between?

Heh. must start practicing with the run/walk/run routine so that i can work my way around my side stitch problems. i'm too much of a pussy to handle running with constant pain.

(Pic from google images)

SIDE STITCHES

There's nothing worse than a stabbing, crippling stitch in your side that hits just as you're getting into your exercise stride. It can totally destroy the rhythm and quality of your work-out, so we've out together some ideas for beating the stealthy stitch.

What causes it

A stitch is defined as a side cramp or stabbing pain under the lower edge of the ribcage. Its occurrence is linked to strength and fitness levels, food and drink consumption, running technique, and the length and quality of your warm up.

How to stop it happening

To prevent a stitch in the future:

Improve your fitness level
Strengthen the diaphragm by using exercises such as those that aid respiratory rehabilitation
Strengthen your core muscles
Limit the consumption of food and drink to 2-3 hours before exercising. In particular, avoid drinks of high carbohydrate content and reconstituted fruit juices
Drink water beforehand to prevent muscles cramps
Warm up properly
Gradually increase the exercise intensity
Try exhaling when the left foot hits the ground, and inhale when the right foot hits the ground
Run on softer surfaces

What to do if you do get another stitch

If you do experience a side stitch again, try the following possible treatments:

Stop exercising and push into your stomach on the right side with your fingers, and then up under the rib cage. At the same time, forcefully exhale while holding your lips closely together.
Bring your running speed down and focus on your breathing till the stitch eases.
Try belly breathing, which means inhaling while pushing out your stomach and relaxing your stomach muscles on the exhale.
Stop exercising and touch your toes with your fingers. This moves the liver away from the diaphragm.
Breathe on different steps
Reduce the frequency of breathing. For example, while jogging inhale for four steps and then exhale for four steps
The quick success of the above treatments will depend on what has caused a particular stitch so try all the methods till you get one that works!

(Source: http://www.nutracheck.co.uk/Library/Exercise/how-to-stop-the-deaded-side-stitches_1.html)

Countdown to 2011

2010-12-31T21:00:00.002+08:00

Another new year.

I'm hoping for good things to come.

For me... as well as all of you :D

(Pic from google images)

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS <3

2008 & 2010

2010-12-21T13:17:00.009+08:00

Both meaningful years, pain ridden & heartbreaking but monumental in shaping my personal growth.

The greatest barrier in our quest for continuous improvement i think is always the tendency to fall into a rut & to take things for granted. and as you get older, it gets easier. sliding into a certain comfort zone becomes almost second nature, you've reached a certain level and just dont feel the need to push yourself anymore. therein lies the problem, routine slowly kills all vestiges of passion and without passion its hard to feel 'alive'.

The recurring events of 2008 & 2010 have indeed turned my world upside down but the 'cold water' effect couldnt be more timely.. i needed to be waken from my deep slumber. if jannah is my goal, as i suppose it is with everyone of faith, then i certainly must reconsider the direction i am heading. with the clock ticking away, i might not be able to catch up... theres so much that needs improvement.

(Pic from google images)

I am still hopeful that my journey will not be made alone, i am still hopeful that my dreams & aspirations are shared but the truth of the matter is, we are all personally accountable for whatever choices we make so in the end, we're on our own. i cant afford the luxury of continuously wallowing in self pity nor lamenting in regret. enough of dancing to the tune of others, its time i take charge of whatever's left of my life.

Lets get on with it.

Big Sale

2010-12-20T02:58:00.002+08:00

Its on.. everything's on sale. all you need is to bring along enough mooolah hehehe.

Sadly, i'm not a shop-a-holic so big sales dont mean much to me. if the man had more sense he'd be eternally grateful to have such a low maintenance wife. the throng of people at mega sales scare the living daylights outta me (what if there was a stampede over at the shoes & handbag counter?). i even came back from the land of turkish delights with only a pair of leather boots to my name lol.

But i'm thinking i should brave the crowds just so i can get me a new pair of running shoes. especially bcos now i kinda know what i should be looking for.

Earlier this month i was fortunate enough to chance upon a promotion by adidas, in collabration with mbsa for its sahabat taman tasik kick off. there was a free foot scanning service as well as a podiatrist to recommend the best solution to suit each requirement.

After looking at my foot scan and physically examining my feet, the podiatrist procaimed that i belonged to the high arch category and in consideration to my age and weight, recommend that i search for shoes with cushioning, torsion system & toe-off

That actually translates into the adidas blue range i.e. emphasis is on cushioning...adistar ride 2, supernova glide 2. response csh 19, bounce venus, adizero boston, adizero adios, adizero ace. still a long list but at least i'll be zeroing in on these specific targets.

But still, buying the right shoe is such a big hassle isnt it?!

The tryst

2010-12-10T10:03:00.000+08:00

Heheheh.

Me meeting golfman on the sly... no kiddies this time.

(Pic from google images)

Will be back next week ;p

Entah

2010-12-01T23:59:00.003+08:00

Dumb & dumber

2010-11-26T08:37:00.011+08:00

Three sugar babes find themselves on an island. One of them stumbles onto a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant them one wish each, yada yada yada (you get the picture)...

(Pic from tutsking.com)

The first one, Tonia says, "I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat." With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean.

The second, Olga says, "I need to get off this island, I need jetski".

With a flash, a jetski appears and she rushes out into the ocean, soon overtaking the first babe.

The genie looks enquiringly toward the third, and Christina with raised eyebrows, smirks and says," Just give me a million dollars, I'll take the bridge."

Ekekekeh ;p

TGIF.... have a great weekend peeps <3

But before i leave, heres another one for ya LOL

(Cartoon courtesy of datehookup.com)

This or that

2010-11-25T17:20:00.003+08:00

Hmmmmm.

Do i rough it out with the guys @ boot camp?

Or work my buns off with the gals @ aerobics studio?

Decisions, decisions.

(Pic from google images)

Its a tough call. i think i'll just let my feet take me wherever it wants to lol ;p

Rolling the ball.

2010-11-23T17:30:00.004+08:00

Okay..its done.

I am fast approaching another milestone and this time its a big one. the plan is, come 1/1/2011 i will be temporarily shelving my SMMs, COCs, APs & Surat Pekelilings and taking a break, a long break, from having to deal with anymore bqs, drawings, tenders, claims, payments, reports, meetings etc.

Yup, i'm taking a no-pay leave of absence for 2 whole years. i'm making myself totally available to my husband. at the snap of his fingers i can just up & leave.. work would now cease to be a deterrent.

I've passed the first round. thankfully my boss here in selangor is supportive and is willing to release me. and today with the admin's consent, i've personally handed my application over to the kementerian for approval. thats round two. its totally out of my hands now.. but at least the people at HR were very helpful and assured me, everything seem to be in order and they're not expecting any problems.

Right. i sure hope so. bcos i really want to get this over and done with. bcos its high time i put an end to this yo-yo existence. bcos i'm just so freaking t-i-r-e-d of functioning as only a part of a whole.

(Pic by Gordon Mitchell)

*I want to be complete. heck, i need to be complete.

Doakan, please.

[ * added after pakmat's comment ;p ]

The Traveller II

2010-11-19T08:42:00.006+08:00

You fly high a journey never ending,
Moving forth destination to destination.
Every quest equally demanding,
A shadowy traveller of your own creation.

Seasons change you're still on your own,
Dreams to realise, targets to meet.
But life is not to be lived alone,
The emptiness reign, the silence deep.

Wicked the heart that is barren & lonely
Crumbling walls, unlocking doors
Secret daliances excitingly risky
Numbing the soul in its quest for more.

The years pass by heedlessly uncaring
Wrecking bonds, weakening ties.
When realisation dawn clear & painstaking,
Life has flown on the wings of a sigh.

Patient are the ones that love you,
Those that hold you close to their heart.
But allow not time to forever seduce you,
You might end up alone in the dark.

JT

Gym tryout

2010-11-18T14:05:00.003+08:00

I was actually surfing the net for dance classes in shah alam, belly dancing to be specific lol. and you know how it is when you surf.. you can end up just about anywhere, sometimes even forgetting what it was that you started with ekekeke.

Anyway, one thing let to another and by lunchbreak, i found myself at the stadium, checking out xclusive fitnesz, a new gym here on my side of the world.

It used to be the venue of mal gym (under malik nor), a place i used to frequent some time back (we're talking about a couple of years here hehehe) and there's been quite a few changes to the old place, though subtle but its there.

Apart from the standard gym hardware and the aerobic/dance sessions (without which i wouldnt even be there lol), i like the new ideas that the owner M has brought in... boot camp sounds interesting, as well as the running programme (still hafta check that one out tho). plus the fact that the people running the place seem really nice.. nice enough to let me try out a session before making up my mind.

And gawd, their little mascot is heart wrenchingly CUTE! its a hyper little ball of fur that goes by the name of NINJA. he's also another reason why i'll be dropping by again hehehe ;p

(NINJA's pic ciloked from here)

Update after my tryout peeps ;D

Latest - yup its done, i'm in lol

Salam Eidul Adha

2010-11-17T01:00:00.001+08:00

Aerobic marathon

2010-11-16T08:36:00.002+08:00

I have more repressed energy than i can deal with these days and thats why the idea of a marathon aerobic competition sounded so appealing (marathon running pun nak gak lol but right now, its just beyond me).

I was pretty excited when Jules from my aerobic class came up with the invitation to join her group (dah rasa nak terkinja2 dah nie hehehe) and my 'i'll call you to confirm k" was, to me just an act of stalling the inevitable. but when i got back home, it hit me. hey, it was the weekend of my favourite niece's wedding!!!!!!

Alamak.

No contest, my niece comes first, of course.

But it really would've been so much fun jumping about like a monkey, and with the possibility of winning RM3,000.00 ;D

Selagi masih

2010-11-15T08:39:00.000+08:00

Anak kucing berlari lari
Berkejar ke sana berkejar ke mari
Berteduh sejenak di pohon rendang
.. bahangnya mentari.

Walau dugaan silih berganti
Selagi kasih beraja di hati
Selagi rindu masih bertandang
.. aku kan di sini.

Interlude

2010-11-09T23:59:00.008+08:00

Its almost midnite and sleep seem so so far away. maybe some Q & A to liven things up a bit?

Q: What are a married man's two greatest assets?
A: A closed mouth & an open wallet.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, money & more money.

Heheheh.

And this sudden craving for something sweet is rather surprising.. but since i'm already hyper as it is, a little sugar aint gonna kill me surely lol.

Anyone for a sugar daddy? ;p

Overload

2010-10-13T13:40:00.002+08:00

I have been bitten by the worse bug ever - melancholic type M virus.

And M is for malas ekekekekeh.

Just on a much needed break peeps.. like juney, i'm taking it one day at a time :D

Pentas dunia

2010-10-08T07:17:00.004+08:00

Fool me once shame on you,
But fool me twice.. shame on me!!!!

Yup i'm a fool alright.

(Pic from google images)

AI's 22

2010-10-06T08:33:00.006+08:00

I have indeed been blessed with truly wonderful children. and their less than peachy childhood have made me realise rather early how fragile life can be and how very precious they really are to me.

Just like his brother, my second child had his fair share of early childhood trauma - he suffered a stroke at about 10 months and was partially paralysed. alhamdulillah he regained full mobility after just 2 weeks and has been fine since (except for the occasional bouts of asthma, courtesy of his father hehehe).

1989 @ Langkawi with abah & abang

And just like his brother, he has become my other pillar of strength. strength that i depend on whenever their daddy goes on another of his 'disappearing' acts. heck, without my 3 kids i wouldnt have been able to live thru this yo-yo existence another day lol.

Ish ish, anak mama dah besar panjang ek ;p

2010 @ Wadi Samrah.

But still my baby la hehehe

HAPPY BIRTHDAY my darling, semoga bahagia sokmo mwaaaaaaah ;D

Pics of birthday dinner @ TGIF...and they took him completely by surprise lol.

In transition

2010-10-05T22:22:00.010+08:00

Golfman is in between jobs right now, and being the workaholic that he is, this lull is killing his brain cells bit by bit.

So he gets temperamental sometimes. and i get sentimental.. the perfect combination for fireworks & waterworks ekekekeh ;p

But we manage. we try to enjoy each other the best we can and keep ourselves occupied in the process.

And what might be our latest pre-occupation?

Hehehe.

Belting out old numbers with friends.

And checking out all the shisha flavours ;p

Ayayaiyayai.. shisha osso can get addicted aah?

Note: shisha joints here should have a cosier, more relaxed atmosphere.. baru ada feel ;p

Its the age

2010-10-04T17:30:00.007+08:00

Yup, i guess thats what it is.

I'm an emotional wreck these days. tersangat la sen-ti-men-tal.. skit2 je berair mata, another level up meleleh air hidung plak lol. and sometimes over the most inconsequential things.

Unstable hormones most certainly. i'm not at the pre-menopausal stage for nothing you know lol.

But its also the sad, melancholic feeling that life is passing me by. i hit 49 last month which means its just one more year before the big five-o. fifty, separuh abad.. theres something very resolute about the sound of that!!

The family pulled a surprise at a friend's raya gathering..

.. i wasnt supposed to know hehehe

At Wadi Samrah, Janda Baik

Although some would say that its just numbers, its also indicative of how fast the sand in my hour-glass is falling. life has a way of moving relentlessly ahead doesnt it but thats ok, i personally am looking forward to the next phase. a phase where i can sit back, let go of some of the burden that i've been carrying & just focus on growing old, hopefully as gracefully as i can.

Sept 17 - Together with golfman

Aaah, and to be able to share the twilight years with the one you love!! but life has taught me that nothing is a given and i do realise that it might not actually be an aspiration shared by my partner. he might not be as ready to embrace all the changes that growing old is stringing along in its wake. its not that easy to stare mid-life squarely in the face.

Grey hair? what grey hair?

The one behind your ears la darling ekekekeh ;p

But whatever it is, i choose to bersangka baik. its much easier on the soul that way lol.

And theres still a lot of stuff on my wishlist.. my pilgrimage, travelling the globe, being a granny, trying out a ferrari hehehe. and that means i need to keep myself as fit & healthy as possible. semoga Kau panjangkan umur ku dalam iman & taqwa ya Rabb.

p.s. errr juney & azza, you people still game on turning me into a marathoner by end of 2011? ;D

Tiada yang pasti

2010-09-24T12:01:00.001+08:00

(from google images)

.. but this too shall pass, insyallah.

The daily grind.

2010-09-20T17:43:00.000+08:00

Since eid not a day has passed that i havent been cooking up something or other for family & friends. golfman loves staying home & ~~eating~~ entertaining and i dont mind bcos it gives me great pleasure to see him so relaxed & happy :D

But its back to work again today. back to juggling between what i hafta to do & what i wanna do.

Back to reality. back to the endless hustle & bustle.

Ya rahman ya rahim.. walaupun ramadhan berlalu pergi ku mohon dibuai keinsafan & kesyahduan yg berpanjangan, agar hati ini mekar dan jiwa ini terus berbunga.

1st Syawal

2010-09-10T23:29:00.007+08:00

Hope your first day of eid was as great as ours :D

But not too much ketupat, lemang & rendang k, nanti kena lari tak hengat punye heheheh.

Theres still loads to be done so i leave you with a couple of eid pics of the family ;p

The Family Eid 1431H

The Family - forget about formal hehehe.

My Man

My Bouncers

Missy & Cikgu

Missy & Topman

Have a great hols y'all <3

Aidilfitri 1431H

2010-09-07T08:33:00.006+08:00

Its almost that time of year again. the great exodus out of the cities. and probably the only time that klang valley isnt as choked up as it normally is.

For family & friends travelling back to their hometowns for raya, please dont take any chances on the roads. drive safe.. there'll be loved ones waiting dengan penuh harapan for your return.

I'll be working till Wednesday. having no kampung to actually go back to has its perks, theres no hassle of packing or travelling involved. just the usual raya preparation. raya's eve and we're at the wet market trying to beat the long queues at the butcher as well as the 'santan' stall lol. next will be the long hours spend in the kitchen (golfman loves to eat during raya). raya morning and we're trying our best not to drown in the sea of indons & banglas thronging the masjid negeri hehehe. then its making the usual rounds visiting family (golfman's mom & 2 of his bros are in shah alam) and neighbours. surprisingly over the years, there are more and more people celebrating eid in shah alam.

See, tak balik kampung can osso be lots of fun (yo la tu hik2) ;p

Btw, do you know what happens when you take away the 'golf' from the 'golfman'?

Heh heh heh... he becomes the Zzzz-man ;D

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri dari kami sekeluarga. Maaf Zahir & Batin.

Close at hand

2010-09-06T08:34:00.002+08:00

Bodyguard & constant companion.

Life in the AA family wouldnt be the same without him <3

Imam's bodyguard

Sleeping partner

I appreciate beauty & fashion as much as the next person but i so hate shopping. in any kind of weather or any type of condition. and especially when it involves large crowds.

But its raya and the kids look forward to having new clothes come syawal, so brave the elements we did.

The massive jams, the full car parks, the long queues, the crowd of impatient people just waiting to pop a vein. heck, enough to test even the most patient of saints!! but we did it anyway. saturday saw us combing the bazaars of sacc & pkns complex for traditional malay garments and sunday was spent at sunway pyramid for the rest. yup we did it. not for me or golfman bcos neither of us really care about what we'd be putting on our backs but for the kids. its the festive season and we have after all been trying our best to conquer our nafs. surely, there is a need for celebration.

At least that part has been taken care of. i can breathe easy now thank god. bcos i really dont think i'll be doing much in the way of sprucing up the place. we're not the type to get new things for raya. i'm just going to give the place a brief once over bcos i'll be needing my energy for the almost non-stop cooking during eid. we love having family & friends over lol.. and we dont believe in open houses. it might be a convenient way of celebrating eid but it doesnt really leave much room for personal interaction.

So..... are you taking a long raya break peeps?

Please dont go

2010-09-03T08:25:00.003+08:00

So much to do, so little time, such limited resources.

Adeh.. and i need my sleep. badly.

By tonite everyone will be home and this time they will all have to help out. during their school going years the kids only had to deal with limited duties. i wanted them to remain focused on their studies. maidless for all these years, i've juggled with work & housework the best i can but its time to really share the burden.. dah besar panjang pun.

Now lets see.. theres inside, outside, upstairs, downstairs.

(Pic from google images)

Eeeeeeek!!!

I'm starting to wish that ramadhan would go on forever.

Btw its been an uncannily peaceful morning. do you think that perhaps last nite was lailatul qadar?

Surah 97: Al-Qadr (1-5)

“We have indeed revealed this (message) in the Night of Power: and what will make you comprehend what the Night of Power is? The Night of Power is better than a thousand months. Therein descend the angels and Gibreel by the permission of their Lord, on every errand: Peace…it is until the break of morning.”

Nuzul Quran

2010-08-27T16:28:00.006+08:00

Last nite at the masjid negeri, following the eve of nuzul quran, there was a tazkirah with Ustaz Ismail Kamus after tarawih followed by a qiyamulail session at 4am. i would have loved to have stayed on after the tazkirah but sadly without golfman, it wasnt a viable option.

Yang termampu hanya menghabiskan saki baki malam dengan menghayati al quran. at home, alone, in the privacy of my room.

And i woke up to a glorious morning, alhamdulillah. one not to be wasted. one which i am glad to report i utilised to the fullest lol.

What initially started out as a relaxing 4km run, became 8 and ended as 12!

Yup, it felt so good that surprisingly i completed another 3 loop run round the tasik. and surprisingly it required less effort than my first 12km attempt a couple of weeks ago. i thought i was out thrashing my demons but somehow found peace along the way. rahmat bulan ramadhan i guess, and the run felt easier probably bcos i was a little lighter on my feet.

And i'm not complaining bcos an easier run meant less sweating and thats a good thing when you're fasting with no hope of replenishing any body fluids till the end of the day. i wasnt thirsty but my lips were dry. again it must be the effect of ramadhan and years of of training to fight off hunger & thirst.

But guess what subliminal message my mind was sending me when i was shopping at tesco later in the day?

Hehehe.. a major portion of the stuff i loaded in my cart was all kinds of heavenly fluids ;p

Selamat Menyambut Nuzul Quran peeps & Selamat berbuka bersama keluarga <3

Workout
Santai 12km run/TSA

Penglipur lara

2010-08-26T13:53:00.001+08:00

Tersiksa

2010-08-24T04:51:00.002+08:00

.. jiwa dan raga.

Everytime you go away its like someone turned off all the lights.

If i could fly

2010-08-18T08:53:00.005+08:00

The closest i'd ever get to flying (other than jumping off a 20 storey building lol) is probably when i'm out running on a good day.

[image from sodahead.com]

Its hard to describe the feeling. you're running as usual, huffing & puffing away and suddenly there's this wondrous few seconds when everything falls into place and you just take off, whoosh!!

It doesnt matter that you're actually plodding along like a penguin.

It doesnt matter that you're heavier than a guni beras (sack of rice).

Doesnt even matter that the people are looking at you funny.

All you know or care is that you feel as free as the wind, as light as the breeze and as blessed as the morning sun. it doesnt happen too often but when it does, you feel like a million bucks. and one of the perks of running in ramadhan is that i get more of these 'flights of fancy' as i call them lol bcos i'm probably a teeny weeny bit lighter with the fasting ;p

Workout

3k round my neighbourhood both yesterday & this morning :D

Ramadhan Snippets.

Every vice in society stems from a lack of self-control. Whether it’s violence, addiction, gambling, infidelity or pre-marital sex – they are all a result of succumbing to desires. When a person does not have the strength in their character to withstand the numerous temptations and tackle his nafs (lower self) to the ground, then he will most definitely become a slave to those desires. As a prisoner of desires, a person feels completely powerless, lacking any ability to help themselves. In the extreme cases, these individuals become depressed, suicidal, bankrupt, imprisoned or in a midst of a scandal.

Since the root of all this evil is the inability to control oneself, then it would be of paramount importance to have training sessions for a whole society in order to strengthen their will power and avoid these destructive pitfalls that adversely affect everyone. Fortunately in the Muslim world there is such a training session during the blessed month of Ramadan. Every Muslim that fasts gets intensive exercise in withstanding many different kinds of temptations. The temptation to eat, drink, have relations or even get angry is overcome every day for a month which prepares us for the many arduous tests we face in life.

(From: http://muslimmatters.org/2010/08/11/the-psychological-benefits-of-fasting-saum)

Failure to be faithful

2010-08-16T08:46:00.014+08:00

Some time ago a friend of mine threw me the one million dollar question, "what if your husband was to take on another wife?"

Heh. now thats a tough one. especially if i were to give an honest, straight from the heart answer.

Of course i've thought about it, who hasnt? its a subject thats been talked about & debated over even before i was born. and i dont quite see it stopping, ever lol.

Now back to the question.

My first reaction would be one of complete betrayal. how could someone you consider a soulmate & life partner even think of sharing his life with someone else? how can someone that you have dedicated your whole life to, find the need for another?

Then comes the endless whys.

Why?

.. when you've always gone out of your way to make him happy & content, putting his needs above your own?
.. when you've always tried your darnedest to make sure that his children, his family, his belongings are well taken care of?
.. when you've always been there for him, more than able, always willing, even wanting?
.. and that you cherish every single moment of your life together?

I know the Lord that i worship is merciful & just. in His infinite mercy He has left many doors open to mankind.. salvation, redemption, a way out of society's ills.

So it could well be an act of selflessness on his part, his way of saving the world. but why do i strongly doubt that the choice would ever be a destitute mother of 5, or a desperate old maid or a prostitute looking for a way out? the Lord also heeds us to ponder upon the many layers of poligamy... bcos salvation & temptation often walk hand in hand. that which appears to be a just cause could well be a lost cause.

Or it could be his attempt at walking in the footsteps of the prophet. but then considered in its entirety, our beloved prophet revered his first wife khadijah and was devoted & ever faithful to her while she was alive. he only took on others after her death and even then still cherished her memory.

So.

After considering all the love and the sacrifice, the only thing you can come up with right now is your one unredeemable crime.. that of growing old. and if aging is the main problem and the excitement of fresh young blood is on the agenda then theres nothing else that can be done. bcos growing old is as certain as death. there are no exceptions. there can be no escape.

Such being said, if beyond all reason the man is still insistent and thru the heartbreak & pain my rights are still guaranteed, then with a heavy & disillusioned heart i would probably relent. bcos sharing a long history & having children together is not something one can easily put aside. bcos i would also be secure in the knowledge that the Lord is fair, He is Ar Rahman, Ar Rahim and He would never test me beyond that i am capable of. and mostly bcos i know He takes special care of those who are 'teraniaya'.

(image from deviantart.com)

Ok. thats it, at this point in time thats my take. straight from my heart. but whether i'll be able to walk the talk is anybody's guess bcos nothing is certain. people change, so do feelings. its every woman's nightmare and i seriously hope the day will never come. i seriously hope that he loves me enough not to rip my heart out and care enough not to hurt the children.

Why does poligamy cause such an uproar especially in this day & age? for me (and i stress, for me) its mainly bcos of the manhandling & the abuse of the Lord's provision. and instead of harping on the issues of sacrifices & selflessness maybe we should consider this, is it about the failure of the woman to share (perhaps the men would be better at sharing?) or more about the failure of the man to be faithful?

Di awal puasa

2010-08-12T23:11:00.004+08:00

Second day of fasting, third nite of tarawih. AH was able to be home again for iftah and with everyone's agreement, we did our prayers at home with golfman as imam. as usual nicolei was all over the room.. he just loves solat berjemaah lol.

The scene at our home hehehe.

Nico with his own prayer mat lol

First casualty down while abah was still reciting the doa.

.. but nico is still frisky

Then its everyone 'down on the floor' after witir.

Unconditional love.

Macam2 ada :D

Hope your fasting has been good so far <3

Dugaan

2010-08-11T21:56:00.007+08:00

First day into ramadhan.. and i got stuck in the lift, all by my sad lonely self lol.

Oh i can laugh about it bcos it wasnt dark.. and it was also during office hours (the lift can be quite freaky at nite those times that i was doing overtime).

And more importantly, the doors re-opened in less than 5 minutes hehehe.

Dugaan? just an itsy bitsy one ;p

Workout

Slow short jog of 2km/TSA.. didnt want to push it hehehe.

Yang terindah

2010-08-11T08:05:00.004+08:00

Semoga ramadhan ini di antara yang terindah :D

Tarawih @ masjid negeri last nite.. it was full house but only for the first 8 rakaat. i barely made it into the main prayer hall.

Interior - main dome of masjid negeri.

After the general exodus of the first 8, i managed to secure a place right under the main dome.

Al-Baqarah [2:185] The month of Ramadan is that in which the Quran was revealed, a guidance to men and clear signs of the guidance and the distinction; therefore whoever of you is present in the month, he shall fast therein, and whoever is sick or upon a journey, then (he shall fast) a (like) number of other days; Allah desires ease for you, and He does not desire for you difficulty, and (He desires) that you should complete the number and that you should exalt the greatness of Allah for His having guided you and that you may give thanks.

Al-Baqarah [2:186] And when My servants ask you concerning Me, then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me, so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way.

(From: http://quran.al-islam.org)

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak. selamat menghiasinya sebaik mungkin.

Bersemangat di bulan Merdeka

2010-08-09T23:51:00.005+08:00

This year august is a busy busy month with so much happening almost all at once.

Theres the end of syaban.

The beginning of ramadhan.

And also our independence day.

So the monthly assembly we had today was a bit out of the ordinary. hosted by JPS, it was by far the longest & most exciting assembly we'd had for a long time (as exciting as a gathering of bored fidgety people can get la hehehe). putting aside the long mandatory speeches, this time there was the emotionally heartfelt doa by the ustaz (he was moved to tears while reciting it), the lively choir, well executed merdeka pantomine and the rousing finale of jalur gemilang medley by all present.

Speech by selangor MB

JPS choir

Short merdeka pantomine.

The assembly @ Dewan Jubli Perak

Jalur gemilang song medley

A rousing finale of MERDEKA!!

Wah balik ofis dalam keadaan yang cukup bersemangat ;p

It also marked the last aerobic session at the ladies gym that i frequent. no classes during ramadhan, probably bcos its core customers are mainly muslims. many were lamenting the fact that exercise would now cease to be their priority, but i beg to differ. hendak seribu daya. work out in the mornings when the weather is cool and there's still the residue of sahur to sustain you. and go for the max during tarawih, that in itself is both ibadah & riadah :D

Lets make the most of ramadhan. we might not be around for the next one.

Breaking thru

2010-08-08T23:53:00.004+08:00

I usually have so much on my hands that i seldom venture out of my comfort zone. spread myself too thin and i might just disappear so i'm very careful with over committing. a wrong move and everything would grind to a complete halt. like it or not the family depends on me to keep my act together.

I have to be very careful not to get 'too' sick. or injure any limb. or worse still break any bone.

So i end up being your proverbial katak bawah tempurung lol.. i keep to myself & stay well within my boundaries.

Except on rare occasions, the once-in-a-blue-moon kind :D

No one was more surprised than me when i suddenly decided to go for my 3rd loop (12km) round the tasik. i've been running for close to 6 years now and never have i even once, had the inclination of breaking the 2 loop barrier (8km) i'd set on myself. cukup2 la kan, its not like i run for races or anything lol.

But the thought of my running buddies juney & azza huffing & puffing away in sunny hatyai kinda spurred me on lol and before i knew it, there i was into my 3rd loop :p such is the power of motivation heheheh.

So, i braved the unknown (cewah drama skit ekekekeh) & ventured out of my comfort zone.

And no, i did not suffer a gruesome fate ;p

Just a sharp pain on the underside of my forefoot towards the last km. maybe its the adizero. maybe i actually need the cushioning towards the front of my shoes. dunno. need to experiment summore.

Turned out to be a weekend with everyone going for their own 'thang' (just ask golfman & cikgu lol). a last fling perhaps before we settle down to the business of embracing Ramadhan.

Hope yours was as enjoyable as mine and i leave you with some recent pics of nicolei.

Lording over his domain but..

..looks like miso the young upstart is having other ideas lol.

Finding every chance to be with missy's things

..his way of dealing with her absence i guess.

Weekend Log

Sat - 12k/TSA followed by 60 mins med-impact/NRG

Sun - 60 mins high impact/DSA followed by 4k/TSA

Re-igniting the spark

2010-08-05T08:01:00.004+08:00

Even with a history of chronic childhood asthma, golfman has always been keeping himself pretty active. back in his younger days it was eat, drink, sleep football. then it was tennis for the longest of time (with a little ping pong & badminton on the side). and eventually it was eat, drink, sleep golf.

Although the choice of activities have changed in relation to his age, he has still kept at it (way to go babe mwaaah).

Unfortunately, his long stint in the caspian area has sort of thrown him off course a little (rolling greens are hard to come by) but once a sportsman always a sportsman i guess bcos he still loves a good sweat. and playing on that fact, i've continously been trying to get him up and running. oh not anything to do with racing or any of that competitive stuff but just little outings to rev up the ole engine and improve his stamina.

So far any spark of interest have always dwindled away and died a natural (or is it unnatural?) death.

Until lately.

Heh heh heh. i'm euphoric. its 2 days in a row now that HE has instigated a slow run round the tasik.. HIM not me. and he's planning for more :D

Some time back i managed to convince him into completing the 3.8k loop round TSA. just a slow jog-a-jog jog but still a run. sadly, after that first try he had to leave. there just wasnt enough time to get him hooked on the endorphine rush!! then there was another try following the first but again work took him away.

Now that he's 'in limbo' so to speak, theres a lot more time to play around with and i certainly havent let the opportunity go to waste lol. after a little pushing & prodding, the spark seem to have been re-ignited.

Halleluyah lol.

I'm not hoping that it'll burst into flames. it's probably less sustainable that way, with a higher possibility of dying out completely lol. nah, i'd happily settle for a slow burning fire. one that'll last thru our golden years ;p

Here's to many more huffing & puffing together babe hehehehe. and believe me, you'll be breezing through ur 18 holes like its a walk in the park and those golf marathons you guys seem to be so fond of? heh kacang mamak ;p

Full moon during the recent nisfu sya'ban.. simply gorgeous isnt it!!

(taken @ guthrie driving range, bukit jelutong).

Workout Log

Tues - 3.8k slow jog with GM/TSA

Wed - 3.8k slow jog with GM/TSA, 1k solo/TSA.
Update:
Thur - 3.8k slow jog with GM/TSA, 1k solo/TSA

Lost in transition

2010-08-03T08:23:00.001+08:00

I think for a workaholic, that transition between one job to another must surely be hell on earth.

Duduk tak kena, baring tak kena, tidor tak kena. and you end up with so much repressed energy you just hafta do something or otherwise explode.

For golfman, its challenging the rempits on the road. he's been driving around like a madman lately and i'm having the toughest of times keeping mum, and just holding on for dear life. whoa you should see my man weaving his way through the traffic & taking the corners these days.. silap2 schumacher & senna tak bole cari makan dowh lol.

Hmmm probably osso the reason why the car indicators are blinking about madly ;D

Relek la yang, it'll all be settled soon insyallah. in the meantime jom belajar drift jom hehehe.

And there was one.

2010-08-01T23:47:00.005+08:00

When the kids are all home, my cup runneth over.. and usually in more ways than one lol.

It was the weekend of AH's birthday so a lil special time had to be put aside for her. then with the cikgu home, as usual the house spilled over with his buddies. really, these guys just love each others company (much to the consternation of their gilfriends lol) and always seem to have something planned. right now they're going thru a board-game craze (before this it was Left 4 Dead) and many a morning have i woken up to a house full of sleeping young men lol. seems that even AI who's usually tied to his xbox have been infected.. in fact i must say that the infection has become quite severe -_-'

Between keeping the boys fed and spending some bonding time with my daughter, i also had a couple of other things lined up. the aqiqah of a neighbour's granddaughter and the wedding reception of an old friend.

And with so much going on, the wind was completely knocked off our sails when both our cars decided to break down. yup not one but two!! one was already in the workshop for a busted radiator when suddenly out of the blue, the other car's indicator started blinking out signals of a faulty brake system.

Ayayayayai. cannot compromise on brakes la so that left us with only one option - AI's 'poltergeist' car!!! why poltergeist? bcos it has this quirky habit of locking & unlocking itself any time it pleases. plus an alarm that gets activated at the most unexpected times and places.. usually where theres lots of people about lol e.g. busy junctions/intersections/traffic lights or when you're trying to park at a crowded mall or just cruising the neighbourhood. you even get to feel like an ice cream van sometimes. golfman says its probably the electrical wiring, dunno. since AI's always busy with classes & discussions, we just havent gotten round to fixing it.

Gawd getting about was quite a nightmare with so many of us depending on that one car but we somehow managed, by the skin of our teeth lol. Anyhoo heres sharing some pics of the hyper weekend.

Birthday girl making funny faces lol

Brand new highlighted hair - prezzie from mumsy ;p

Marhaban & aqiqah cucu sulong R & E

Wedding reception of F & KB's eldest son

We go back a loong way.. semsas 1975-1979 & into itm.

Thank god i managed to squeeze in some calorie burning activities as well, otherwise sure pengsan with all the cakes, pasta, beriani kambing, nasi minyak, pulut kuning ;D

Workout

Sat - 8k run/TSA

Sun - 4k run plus 60 mins aerobics/DSA

She's 18!!

2010-07-30T07:40:00.004+08:00

Heh. its my girl's birthday today.. pejam celik pejam celik dah pun 18 ;D

Pensively waiting beside her sleepy abah

Happy birthday my darling, may your wishes come true <3

Last nite was the farewell dinner for both my pengarah & his deputy. yup both of them will be retiring a few weeks of each other, leaving the dept in a rather precarious 'leaderless' situation. not really a smart move by the movers & the shakers but i guess it was somehow overlooked.

Speeches by officers involved.

Being quite an insignificant member in the grand scheme of things, i dont normally need to attend such functions but this time i did. from time to time the kelab sukan gives back to its members and the society by way of contributions & awards. and last nite, member's children who had obtained good results for SPM 2009 was acknowledged for academic excellence by the presentation of a certificate & cash incentive. AH was among the lucky few but unfortunately i had to represent her bcos she couldnt make it. it was after all the middle of a work week.

Flowers, certs & cash incentive for AH.

The farewell was simple but well organized considering the frequently changing dates. i'm sure it wasnt easy to find a suitable date convenient to both officers. our pengarah has always potrayed himself as a quiet, dependable person and his speech was quite poignant, subtle but the message was clear nonetheless. work as a team and strive towards a common goal.

Golfman met up with a couple of old friends from way back in his college days in itm as well as in nec. the changes that we see in others will inadvertently cause us to reflect upon the changes in ourselves.. which is a good thing i think bcos we're usually the last ones to realise what we have become LOL.

I guess the food didnt quite agree with the golfman bcos we made a detour instead of going straight home. a stop for his char kuey teow fix hehehe.

He 'carbo loaded' so we jogged this morning ;D

Being happy

2010-07-29T13:47:00.005+08:00

Its tough to think of anything else when we're down in the dumps, but when theres nowhere else to go, theres sometimes a faint ray of light peeking out at you from the dark endless tunnel. if you dont see it then go search for it bcos the nur is definitely there, buried somewhere in the shadowy hollows. follow it and it might just lead you out of the cold

As Bergen bluntly puts it in his I get it post, accept life, accept the Lord's will and just get on with it.

Bersyukurlah. choose to be happy. its better than being sad.

To my dearest darlings AF, AI & AH.. when things dont turn out the way you expect them to (as they often will) dont be too sad. life goes on no matter what so hang on and try to enjoy the ride. insyallah the Lord takes care of His own <3

Endomondo

2010-07-27T21:05:00.006+08:00

First time i took my phone with me on a run, and with it the use of endomondo.

A short run by all counts bcos by the time i had dinner ready it was past 7 and maghrib was hot on my heels. i cut across the main road into the fringes of seksyen 11, past seksyen 10 and back into seksyen 9.

Duration - 0:26:31
Distance - 3.46km
Avg. Speed - 7.4 min/km

Hey this endo thing is pretty cool.. at least to a gadget challenged makcik like me la. i normally run unencumbered. just my car keys when i do the tasik loops so having the phone with me was rather distracting. but if i ~~was to consider juney's crazy plan~~ wanna increase my mileage then i'd better start exploring the roads of shah alam.

Now all i hafta do is find a pouch that wont bounce so much when i run -_-'

Mid Sya'ban

2010-07-27T08:27:00.006+08:00

HADIS MENGENAI MALAM NISFU SYA’BAN

(http://ekhutbah.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/kelebihan-puasa-dan-nisfu-syaaban/)

1. Daripada Makhul daripada Malik bin Yakhamir daripada Muaz bin Jabal daripada Nabi S.A.W telah bersabda: Sesungguhnya Allah ta’ala memerhati makhlukNya pada malam nisfu(pertengahan) daripada Sya’ban maka Dia akan mengampuni semua makhlukNya melainkan orang yang syirik atau orang yang bermusuhan.
( Hadis ini isnadnya Hasan dan dikeluarkan oleh Ibn Habban, Al-Baihaqi dan At-Thobarani )

2.Daripada Hisham bin Hassan daripada ( Al-Hasan daripada) Usman bin Abi Al-’As daripada Nabi S.A.W telah bersabda : Apabila tibanya malam nisfu (pertengahan) daripada bulan Sya’ban, pemanggil akan memanggil : Adakah daripada mereka yang memohon keampunan maka nescaya diampun baginya ? Adakah daripada kalangan mereka yang meminta maka akan diberi? Maka tidak ada seseorang yang memohon sesuatu melainkan akan diberi melainkan penzina dengan kemaluannya ataupun orang syirik.
( Hadis ini isnadnya Hasan dan dikeluarkan oleh Al-Kharaiti, Al-Baihaqi dan imam Sayuti )

Ready or not, its almost upon us. Ramadhan Al Mubarak.

Workout Log

2k 'synchronized' jogging with golfman ;D

Breaking the jinx

2010-07-25T17:37:00.000+08:00

Juney & me, we'd almost given up on ever meeting each other. seems that every plan we made never saw the light of day and it's become a running joke between us that we needed to mandi bunga just to break the jinx LOL.

Well thank god it didnt hafta come to that (although soaking away in a tub filled with fragrant petals aint such a bad idea actually lol).

We finally broke the jinx and met up at the jogging track of seksyen 7 yesterday.

Surprise surprise.. juney had azza in tow. both of them had only recently lost their 'virginities' at scklm 2010. both are now proud marathoners!!

Juney & Azza (ciloked from the anak mami's blog lol)

We had a blast bergebang while we walked our way to a total of about 5km (juney is still nursing a bad knee) and it continued right into brunch. poor juney & azza must have had an earfull bcos boy, was i full of Q's lol. i've pretty much been doing this running thing on my own and have never really had the chance to have a heart to heart with other female runners :D

We gotta do this again la gfs.. and this time we must take pics hehehe.

In the face of too much

2010-07-23T08:27:00.005+08:00

.. food!!!

That will be the downside of ramadhan. ironic isnt it that food would be overflowing the very month that fasting is observed. when our main focus should be of penitence & worship.

Worse part is, even when you put up a fight, you get so easily sucked into the bottomless pit of excess.

Talking about food & excesses, i remember this book about weight-loss. its pretty simple and advocates just 4 basic rules:

1. When you are hungry, EAT
2. EAT WHAT YOU WANT, not what you think you should.
3. Eat CONSCIOUSLY and enjoy every mouthful.
4. When you think you are full, STOP.

What i found intriguing about it was how it corresponded with the prophet's teaching. if one were to truly comprehend its meaning, its a reflection of familiar hadiths and sunnah.

Rasulullah ate enough to keep him going, but no so much as to make him fat. Ibn ‘Umar (ra - may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer eats in one stomach whilst the dis-believer eats in seven.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5081) and Muslim (2060).

Rasulullah taught his ummah something to protect them from diseases caused by eating and drinking. He said: “The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to eat a few mouthfuls, to keep him going. If he must do that (fill his stomach), then let him fill one third with food, one third with drink and one third with air.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1381), Ibn Maajah (3349);

It is the sunnah to eat slowly and chew properly. Slow eating reduces the consumption of food, as it postpones much of the meal to a time when the absorption of nutrients begin to produce physiological signals of satiety.

"O children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer; eat and drink, but waste not by excess. For Allah loves not the wasters."

- The Holy Quran, 7:31

And it also puts the responsibility of our bodies back to us. for it to work we need to be in touch with ourselves and to be truly honest. really needs major rethinking here.. when was the last time we actually listened to what our bodies are saying? but once its in place, the benefits are huge. me, i'm still struggling.

Ramadhan is almost upon us... lets all make the most of it.

Lord give me the strength & resolve to give it my best.

Withering hearts

2010-07-22T08:33:00.004+08:00

When you reach my age, you've seen most of what the power of 'love' can do. it can make or break, end in tragedy or celebration, and bcos it involves other than ourselves, its not totally within our control.

I see love transcending barriers & hardship. i see love spreading comfort & solace. but then i also see the heartbreak & desolation. and it especially saddens me when families are torn apart in the name of 'love'.

It takes two to tango. and it takes two to make 'it' happen, whatever 'it' is.

Nothing about love is ever predictable. and for that very reason, it has always been used as an excuse for a change of heart. "i love you" one minute "i just dont love you" the next, making it perhaps the most abused word on the planet.

I'm no authority on love and like everyone else i pray that love & goodwill will forever wrap me in its comforting folds. but i do know this, that when love is taken to the level where vows are exchanged, there will be commitment & responsibilities attached to it. change of hearts come with a price and some pay quite dearly... and i'm not just talking about RMs here.

When love wanes and our 'empty' hearts scream for sympathy & attention, should we then conveniently seek another? when love becomes a habit, should the promise of excitement lure us away from a life built together? and how could it be within an instant, what was once a safe haven is now the deepest depth of hell?

Providence may have some hand in our lives but in the end, its all about making our own choices. bcos as long as we're living & breathing, theres no excuse not to go through our lives with eyes wide open.

Just call a spade a spade. whichever way we look at it, love has never been spelled as l-u-s-t. it is what it is.

Fire.. better not go playing with it.

Ya Rahman Ya Rahim hanya kasih MU yang abadi.

Workday humour

2010-07-21T08:25:00.003+08:00

Hik hik ;p

Did i mention that AH bullied me into taking the stairs the last time i dropped her (plus bags of stuff) off at her appartment in casa subang - ALL 10 STOREYS of it (P1, P2, P3 plus 7 storeys)!!!!!! Heh, they really should do something about managing the lifts during peak hours.

But then again, ask adidas, impossible is nothing aight? ;D

New tricks for old dogs

2010-07-19T22:31:00.003+08:00

I have an extremely sore derriere right now.

Something quite unexpected.

I thought with all my running (cewah konon lol) i would just breeze thru yesterday's walkathon but boy, was i ever wrong!! i completely forgot that although both deal with forward motion, the mechanics are different.. and so are the muscles used. apparently walking uses a lot more of the gluteus maximus than i'd thought lol ;p

I now waddle like a duck. serious.

Saturday nite saw my head spinning with so many possibilities. golfman would be off to a golf tournament so that would leave me with time to do away as i wished. my options - the sunday morning session at the dataran, or the usual plodding round the tasik, or giving the anggerik walk 2010 a try, or go intai2 my gf at dataran merdeka where the siemens run was being held. after giving the matter some thought, i decided it just wasnt the right time to meet up with juney bcos its her daughter's maiden run and they'd surely want to bonding2 together la.

So i was thinking, why not give the walkathon a try? sunday morning lenggang kangkong wasnt such a bad idea and it would be quite a new experience for me (cant even remember la the last time i was in a walkathon lol).

As usual, there was a little drama in my otherwise monotonous life, perpetuated by me of course. i got to know about the walk thru a friend on friday and information was pretty scarce. i had nothing much accept for what was detailed out on the form. it was open to all malaysians and there was no fee involved - it was for free but you needed a bib to participate and for that you needed to register. there were several categories and mostly it was for a distance of 6km. flag off was at 7 am @ the kwsp/umno selangor building in seksyen 11.

Simple right, but i got it mixed up somehow. i parked my car at the state mosque bcos i thought the event was held at dataran merdeka shah alam. when i reached the area not only was it in semi darkness (around 6.45am) but there wasnt anyone there either. oh maybe a lost soul or two but not the crowd i was expecting. luckily i had the presence of mind to bring along my participating form (which i had faxed earlier) so i was able (with a lot of difficulty bcos ~~of my failing eyesight~~ the font was too small) to make out the details.

Thats when i realised i was at the wrong place!!

With only 10 mins left, i had no choice but to run bcos although it was actually just round the other corner, it was quite a distance to cover in such a short space of time.

Ha ha ha. to cut the story short i shouldnt have bothered. when i arrived registration had only started and me, who was soo very the lambat, got herself the first bib no. for the women veteran category - 001 in bright yellow (yes its colour coded lol).

Throughout the event, it became quite apparent that time didnt appear to be the organizer's main priority. so used to races being flagged off on time, the wait seemed endless to me. after an unnecessarily long & elaborate senamrobik session (15mins would have suffice as a warm up session), the 'gun' finally went off at 8.30am. yup. an hour & a half from the stipulated time. but of course i cant complain much bcos it was after all a free/community activity.

Lining up for the 'senamrobik' session

Thankfully the weather was good, making the 6km walk not the scorcher i had anticipated. all along the way i had to keep reminding myself that i was in a walkathon and not to break into a run lol. walking fast is NOT as easy as it seems (thus the sore butt ekekeh).

I finished good. on top of the usual medal & cert, i even won me some cash money for coming in 2nd (not much but 200 is still nothing to laugh at)!! hehehe.. yup, there was nobody more surprised than me that morning. and although i actually missed getting myself a shiny new red bike for not pushing harder (bikes only for all 1st place winners), i'm happy bcos it never crossed my mind that i'd even get a placing!!

Nestle & digi vans

Finishing lanes

There were also lots of freebies & give-aways... free flowing milo & popcorn, hampers & stuff for the lucky draw, balloons & pouches from digi (the main sponsor i think). yours truly was also 'lucky' enough to get something for the lucky draw - a chunky summer-ish bag.

Alhamdulillah, tak la ku sangka. not too bad for a morning's walk eh ;p

[I'm also considering more power walks in my routine to tone up my glutes heheheh]

Coffee break

2010-07-15T10:35:00.001+08:00

I'm bogged down with work.

I'm stuck in here when i'd rather be out there!! and in my mind's eye whenever i think of running this is what i see:

But then i start to think, will it ever get down to this?

*cough cough cough*

Weh la weh, tersedak kopi la pulak ekekekeh ;p

Broken connection

2010-07-14T12:30:00.002+08:00

The pc at my office suddenly went kaput on me and the ICT guy has officially declared it as 'unfit for use' aka 'JUNK'.

Its been more than a week but thankfully i'm now finally reconnected via an old recycled pc (while i wait in line for a new one).

Recycle pun recycle la, asalkan bole buat keje (with a little surfing on the side lol) ;p

I was away for a 3-day team building session at Kalumpang Resort & Training Centre starting the 8th. and although it was a welcomed break, it sadly clashed with AH's registration at Taylor's. t'was the first time that my baby's leaving home and i wasnt around! but on the bright side, it gave golfman the opportunity to finally play an active part in his children's life. it can never make up for all of his absences; those crucial times that he wasnt around but at least it would be a start and an experience in itself, for both parties.

Would you believe, my baby girl's just in casa subang but i still miss her terribly!! nak buat macamane, bongsu girl la kan :)

But.. hafta reign in my feelings, musnt spook her out. its her time and she needs to find her way.

Ma doakan yang terbaik untuk anak2 mama semua. semoga berjaya & bahagia dunia akhirat.

Mini jumble sale

2010-07-02T17:21:00.004+08:00

Yup KUB was given the green light to proceed with our own little jumble sale. as a means of collecting funds for our annual activities. and me, instead of contributing used clothing or goods, was asked if i could cook up something to sell.. namely cream-puffs.

Heh, producing enough puffs to make selling viable filled me with trepidation.. i only had a mini oven to work with since my regular oven stopped working (pukul brape la dapat tido ni nanti). but not to disappoint, i agreed and ended up not sleeping a wink (dah agak dah lol).

We opened our booth at the lobby in time for the long lunch break. and the SUK crowd was extremely supportive of our venture bcos before long we had to call for extra staff to lend a helping hand lol.

And our pengarah was kind enough to ~~check on what we were up to~~ have a look-see ;p

Glad to say, the mini jumble sale was a roaring success and the boss was mighty pleased with the collective show of support and cooperation by all of us.

Lordy i need my sleep *yawn*

Plod on

2010-07-01T23:57:00.012+08:00

Golfman's been down with flu since Monday but have been dragging himself to work so that he can settle as much of the 'unfinished business' as possible. his last days are fast approaching and there seem to be 1001 things to do. they even threw him a farewell lunch yesterday, the running joke being, "to be eligible for this sumptious kari kepala ikan treat, first you need to quit the company!!".

Har-de-har-har *cue the dripping sarcasm*

I just hope its a smooth transition for him. a man takes great pride in his ability to provide and no matter what you say, is greatly affected by it.

I've been overshooting my morning schedule lately and have had to trim my runs to suit the limited time frame. its been mostly 2-3kms only and although its better than nothing, it hasnt been all that satisfying. today was no exception. by the time i waved golfman off to work, i was left with exactly 30 mins to play around with - if i wanted my usual 4k and still make it to work, there can be no warming up, no cooling down. but with the recent spat of rest days i've been having, i knew i just had to go for it.

And that very desperation was probably what got me going.. bcos surprisingly, i found myself shaving off almost 5 mins from my usual time! gawd, thats a big big thing for me.. and its so unbelievable i'm not as happy as i should be. why? bcos for me, 4k in 30 mins is almost carved in stone. no matter what i do, i'm usually able to cut the time by only 1-2mins. so i dunno. maybe my watch turned faulty or the double loop that i did was a couple of metres short.

Takkan la kot *still pondering*

But whatever it is, i was pushing myself (a rather rare occurence bcos i like staying in my comfort zone lol) and it did turn out to be a darn good run. plus i made it to work with 2 mins to spare.

Just peachy ;D

Workout Log
4k/26mins?/TSA

So near and yet..

2010-06-27T23:25:00.008+08:00

The whole family went nuts at the digital mall pj yesterday. top on the list, external hard disc.. everyone ended up with one. seems like its the new thumbdrive. me, i have lotsa lotsa pics that i just cant bring myself to delete. and in this digital age, it can be an avalanche lol. so i needed the storage. the rest had their own reasons and lucky for us golfman was in a spending mood :D

AF the techie junkie was in seven heaven. but his euphoria came down a notch when he realised he couldnt claim the alotted points after the purchase. he'd somehow misplaced his membership card and was quite frustrated bcos he was actually collecting points for a fridge (wowzers.. a fridge no less heheh)! and just for the fun of it, AI signed up for membership too.

I would've loved to drop by jaya one to check up on the athletes circle but with the bootful of stuff, i didnt want to push my luck hehehe. and especially not after cramming our stomachs close to bursting during a rather long pitstop at sushi king ;p

Next AH managed to coerce her daddy into venturing the jam-packed realm of subang. her registration for the sam programme will be in 2 week's time and she wanted to have a preliminary peek at taylor's college & casa apartment. sad to report, her daily commute would involve one of the busiest route around that area - between SS15 & USJ 1 (summit/mydin area). there'll be transport provided for the students but i'm wondering what time they'd have to leave to make it to morning classes. the traffic is really heavy and providing a car wouldnt make much of a difference i think. so near yet so far.. looks like my baby will just hafta manage the best she can.

Sunday saw me doing my social rounds. from as early as 10am, i was already at a marhaban session, celebrating the cukur jambul & akekah of a mentor's grandson. it was a joyous affair.. the way it usually is when babies are involved. bcos truth is, it becomes a celebration of life itself.

And of course life wouldnt be complete without a bit of drama thrown in lol.

Cikgu was back to collect his car and as usual he was supposed to leave in time to reach lipis before it got dark. and as usual, the cikgu tinkered around in his room dragging his departure to the last minute, turning me almost cuckoo in the process. i worry when he leaves home around maghrib. i worry when he travels alone at nite. i worry, period lol.

Before leaving, he first filled up his tank at a nearby petrol station and upon his return, he dropped the bombshell, "ma, aie rasa brake keter tak makan la ma". to which i immediately responded, "WHAT?"

Heck, brakes were essential when one's attempting to travel back east. the steep crossing can be pretty dangerous even with a fully functional car. and now he's telling me his brakes doesnt work?!!! aiyaa, mati la ma risau camni.

Yup, it was a bummer alright. no mechanic worth his salt would chose to work on a late sunday afternoon and the cikgu sure as hell needed to go to work. you just dont fool around with children's education. by then my mind was already in overdrive, considering all the options. something had to be done and if need be, i was quite ready to drive down to lipis. it would take about 5-6 hours round trip, which still left me enough time to make it to work.

Suddenly through the fog of my choatic thoughts i heard him saying, "heh nasib baik aie terbeli tiket pegi balik".

Lordy, of all the coincidences, the cikgu in his absent-mindedness, had actually bought return bus tickets!! and to cut a long story short, thats how he found himself taking another bus ride instead of driving his own car. and thats how i found myself saddled with another 'broken down' contraption.

But this time thankfully it's a little different. this time i can happily pass the problem over to golfman.

Aaah, such bliss :D

Wheeeeeeeee..

2010-06-25T08:25:00.002+08:00

After doing the ecg, the echo and the stress test, the verdicts out that me ole ticker is doing just fine :D

These wriggly lines belong to me lol

Its a load off my chest. really. i was so worried i was hyperventilating & making myself breathless lol. maklum la dah tua2 ni anything can happen.. risau plak menyusahkan orang nanti. and its always scary when you're faced with signs of your own mortality.

Once the doc ruled out any abnormalities with my heart, the flutter in itself is nothing to worry about. and the funny thing is when i was doing the stress test, my heartbeat evened out as i started running. a good sign the doc said. which means i ~~wont be keeling over anytime soon~~ can keep on running!

Maybe i should even consider joining juney's fmv. target - marathon @ 50... ekekekeh, yea right ;D

p.s. To juney & friends good luck with the scklm this sunday. go lose your 'virginities' with a bang peeps!!

Big words, small words

2010-06-24T08:22:00.005+08:00

.. and many sizes in between lol.

While waiting for the ~~dreaded~~ day of my appointment with the cardiologist (2.15pm today), i've been surfing online for background info as well as checking up on worst case scenarios. no, i'm not a pessimist, just your regular run-of-the-mill realist (plus the fact that i secretly love scaring myself lol).

So. i found out a couple of interesting things. maybe not really related to what i'm going thru but pretty interesting nevertheless.

If you're one of those people who faints at the sight of blood or at times of emotional distress, and is fed up with the constant ribbing from your friends bcos of your supposedly 'weak disposition'.. well, theres actually a big scary word that covers your condition - vasovagal syncope. its a term used for a variety of syndromes and is apparently the commonest type of fainting.

Syncope is about fainting and vasovagal has something to do with our vagus nerve. also known as neurocardiogenic syncope (a real mouthful aint it?) and has a looong list of triggers.

From WIKI - Typical triggers of vasovagal syncope include:

-Prolonged standing or upright sitting, particularly when standing with legs in a locked position for long periods of time—avoidance of long-term locking of one's legs in the standing position is taught in the military as well as in marching bands and drill teams.
-Standing up very quickly
-Stress
-Any painful or unpleasant stimuli, such as:
   -Venepuncture
   -Experiencing medical procedures with local anesthesia
   -Giving or receiving a needle immunization
   -Watching someone give blood
   -Watching someone experience pain
   -Watching or experiencing medical procedures
   -Sight of blood
   -Occasions of slight discomfort, such as dental and eye examinations
   -Hyperthermia, a prolonged exposure to heat
   -High temperature, either in the environment or due to exercise
   -High pressure on or around the chest area after heavy exercise
-Arousal or stimulants e.g. sex
-Sudden onset of extreme emotions
-Hunger
-Nausea or vomiting
-Dehydration
-Urination ('micturition syncope') or defecation, bowel movement ('defecation syncope')
-Abdominal straining or 'bearing down'
-Swallowing ('swallowing syncope') or coughing ('cough syncope')
-Random onsets due to nerve malfunctions
-Pressing upon certain places on the throat, sinuses, and eyes, also known as vagal reflex stimulation when performed clinically
-Water colder than 10 Celsius (50° F), or ice that comes in contact with the face, that stimulates the mammalian diving reflex
-High altitude
-Use of certain drugs that affect blood pressure, such as amphetamine
-Intense laughter

Yup, it sure seems to cover a whole lot of things doesnt it, even sex lol.. and intense laughter?

Closer to home, i have a friend at work who's husband has been fainting without warning for a while now. She's sick with worry (and rightfully so) bcos they cant seem to identify any obvious reason or trigger for it. After a series of investigation with the specialist, where heart & circulatory problems have been ruled out, they're still quite nonplussed over his malaise. in the end the docs finally conclude that its vasovagal syncope (and its thru her that i first got to know about this term).

Which doesnt really say much bcos it covers a whole spectrum of conditions - from fainting at the sight of blood to dangerously losing consciousness anytime, anywhere and without any warning whatsoever. even to this day, my friend & her husband are still struggling to find out his 'trigger' just so they'd know when he's about to pass out.

Now, i wonder what's in store for me today? la-lala-lala ;D

Going nuts

2010-06-23T13:52:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking no one's totally immune towards the world cup fever. it has a way of permeating into our lives whether we want it to or not. even if you're not a real soccer fan, the excitement of husbands, children, friends, officemates will rub on you. somehow lol.

And as i type this my mind is already going into overdrive.. over what to snack on while we watch the game LOL. the man especially looooves munching over nuts and swigging it down with frothy teh tarik :D

But you gotta be a lil chosey over the nuts tho. according to some research findings, you're better off if you stick to certain types of nuts:

In 2003, the FDA recognized the benefits of nuts and their role in heart disease prevention by approving a health claim for seven kinds of nuts (almonds, hazelnuts, peanuts, pecans, some pine nuts, pistachios and walnuts). There is one catch though: nuts are high in calories. Therefore, the best approach is to reap the health benefits of eating nuts as snacks without adding excessive calories to your daily intake. So, instead of simply adding nuts to your diet, eat them in replacement of foods that are high in saturated fats such as meat and limit your intake of these tasty snacks to one to two ounces per day.
[from: http://www.healthcastle.com/nuts-benefits.shtml]

And for those who'd rather bypass the path of destruction that we're obviously taking lol, take heart, theres also a healthier way of going about it [click here].

So, are your favourite teams playing tonite?

A journey of discovery

2010-06-22T13:57:00.004+08:00

"Age is an issue of mind over matter; if you don't mind then it doesnt matter" - Mark Twain.

I've been discovering a lot about myself lately. not only am i still getting acquainted with this strange looking hands, theres also the frown that's refusing to go away.. even when i'm not frowning!!

[Dang, smile creases dont look half as bad as this]

Anyways, thats not the end of it.

I'm a little prone to bouts of lightheadedness but nothing really alarming. it's usually a fleeting sensation and has never gotten severe enough for me to keel over ~~like rotting timber~~ or anything lol. but lately its been a little disturbing bcos the frequency seem to be increasing. now i get lightheaded almost everytime i change solitary positions e.g. whenever i get up from sitting, squatting or lying down. and theres also this unexplained breathlessness.

Usually, i'd just put it down to another of those menopausal changes my body's going thru but the possibility of passing out (however minute) on one of my runs is pretty daunting so i hauled my ass over to the doc's for a check-up.

And to cut the story short, i now have to set up an appointment with a cardiologist (which i should be doing right now!!). the doc found my pulse to be irregular and the preliminary ecg shows that i have arrythmia - something's not quite right with my heart's electrical system (sheesh, a broken-down heart now is it?).

But she's also saying i shouldnt worry too much. my symptoms were mild & the irregularity shown by the ecg wasnt too great.

But of course i had to look it up for myself (google, what else lol) and true enough out of a long list, i'd noticed only 2:

Symptoms of arrhythmias include

Fast or slow heart beat
Skipping beats
Lightheadedness, dizziness
Chest pain
Shortness of breath
Paleness
Sweating

Still.. more about it after i see the specialist. until then i'm holding on to positive thoughts :D

Winds of change

2010-06-21T23:47:00.020+08:00

The wind of change
Blows straight into the face of time
Like a storm wind that will ring the freedom bell
For peace of mind..

[Scorpion]

The man's back and the wind of change is gathering speed.

Soon, he will leave. he's had just about enough of the BS. the time has come for him to end the union, one that has lasted a good 18 years and one that he secretly loathes to break. i can feel the sadness behind his bravado, the loyalty behind his scorn and the love behind his anger. and its a great loss to the company if they but know it. bcos he's a team player, a true blue oil man and a patriotic one to boot. heck, you just cant get any better than that!!

One thing's for sure.. they dont deserve him.

Insyallah, infinite is the Lord's bounty.

Of body & soul

2010-06-16T08:17:00.004+08:00

Bertaut kasih bersarang rindu,

Setia menunggu kasih yang satu..

Sometimes my life is just a seamless, endless state of monotony with very little hope of relief. day in, day out, i go thru the motions but its almost like a soul-less state of existence. in limbo, i feel like i'm floating away into nothingness.

For reassurance & comfort, i run to my Maker. and for validation of my very existence, i get physical.

- less i forget, warm blood flows strongly thru my veins.

- less i forget, flesh & bones are holding me together.

So i push myself. and with the sweat, the aches and the pain, i know i'm still here, still alive & kicking. and with that i'm brought back to the reality & the responsibilities that awaits me. and with that i get thru another day.

And thank god for the children. in the absence of my other half, they are the ones that help to ground me.

Last nite, after another muscle thrashing session, i got back to a house filled with happy people. laughter greeted me at the door and the smell of baking filled my senses.. AF & gang were having another bout of board games and AH & AI were baking muffins in the kitchen.

Board games..

.. and baking.

Nothing perks you up better than exuberant young people :D

And of course, the banana-oat-walnut muffins helped lol.

p.s. and joy, if you're reading this, aunty makan dua ni je while i watched jack bauer in action.. so ok la kot ek ;D

Workout:

3k/am/TSA

Is less more?

2010-06-14T08:28:00.008+08:00

This running thing started in 2004 but unlike my awesome blogger buddies haza, june & others, i only run ultras, marathons & halves in my dreams lol ;p

4k runs are my staple and i guess you can say 8k is my lsd. hehehe.. chicken feed, i know but thats me. i run bcos i love it but i'm a wimp for pain so i dont push it.

Running after 40 demands that you pay special attention to your knees & joints so i started out with all the support & cushioning i could get my hands on. over the years its been the occasional pegasus and the usual adistar and luckily, i've been spared major injuries. but since then, i've been doing a lot of reading on the subject. so much has been written, along with all the pros and cons and you start to thinking, maybe all that cushioning isnt really that necessary. and what if all that talk about too much being bad actually is true?

What if i were to just do away with it?

Of course going barefoot or the vibram thingy would be too radical (for a makcik with cranky knees & joints lol) but maybe i'd try the minimalist approach.

To make do with the most basic support and just let nature take over. after all i'm just putting in a daily max of 4-5k, nothing too stressful on the ole joints.

And thats how i ended up with a pair of adizeros. its a lightweight thats built for speed and although speed obviously isnt my consideration, it also promises to provide basic support. to make the deal even sweeter, the pair came with a 30% discount!! adizero aegis UK size 4.. last pair.

I later found out it actually wasnt the female version (although it was placed @ the ladies section and confirmed by the salesperson) but it doesnt really matter bcos i love it. went on a 4k run this morning and it felt great! yes it's way lighter than my adistar but there's still enough bounce to make my landing easy. so far so good :D

My new partners-in-grime lol

Hah thank god. buying shoes is always a big gamble.

Workout:

4k/am/S9
60 mins Aerobics/pm/NRG

Cocktail weekend

2010-06-13T23:57:00.001+08:00

The weekend was anything but dull lol... macam2 ada.

Golfman's new car decided to pull a stunt on me (why does this always happen when da man isnt around?) friday after work. with automatic dials & automatic everything else, the auto-lock suddenly chose to malfunction.. as they say "takde angin takde ribut tetiba je" and there i was going "wtf"? but i was lucky that it happened at my office parking lot so with the guards and all, things were pretty secure for me to leave the car overnite.

But it screwed up my schedule. gone was my friday nite masala with the girls and bcos the mechanics didnt actually confirm the time they would be turning up, saturday morning was spent waiting (read: no running, no aerobics). the guys eventually turned up and towed the car away but by that time i was beyond frustrated and ended up spending the whole day stuffing my face!!! hahaha, you know how it is, when all else fail.. EAT ;p

AI with the mechanics from APD.

Thankfully i woke up to a glorious sunday morning. and it was a day of redemption. at the dataran with my usual gang, i was moving faster & jumping higher throughout the 60 mins session and followed by a 4k lap round the tasik. hah.. with cooling down & stretching, i'd managed to put in a solid 2 hour workout, yay :D

And later in the day, my outing with the kids turned out to be mainly about ME!!

We'd earlier planned to ronda2 the malls.. catch a movie, window shop, forage the bookstores & pig out. but AF had other plans (that involved his GF.. of course lol) and AH was already dreading monday and only wanted to stay home (haa.. now you know why abah always wants to rest on sundays heheheh).

So that left only AI and me. i usually give the kids free reign but this time, i took advantage of the situation and gave him a list of things i wanted to do. 1. check out ahlete's circle @ jaya one 2. browse thru excess bookstore @ amcorp mall 3. go shoe & bargain hunting @ sunway pyramid.

Turns out ahlete's circle close on sundays but luckily for me we successfully accomplished the other 2!! and i reckon, getting 2 out of 3 is pretty darn good considering my run of bad luck yesterday ;p

Thanks nak for being so sporting... mwaaah!!

Weekend workout:

60 mins high impact

4k/30 mins/TSA

27 years

2010-06-10T08:26:00.005+08:00

.. together. tapi terasa macam baru semalam ;D

Happy anniversary yang.. walaupun jauh tapi sentiasa dekat di hati. you're still (and will always be) the one, mwaaah3.

[btw hope you're having fun with the new 'towkey' hehehehe].

Workout:

4k/am run/S9
60 mins aerobics

Playing catch up

2010-06-09T08:20:00.006+08:00

Its a beautiful morning.. cool, breezy with overcast skies.

When i left the house i suddenly had a moment of doubt and checked my watch twice. i was late but it sure didnt feel like 7.30!! as i ran my usual route i couldnt help but observe what a huge effect the school-breaks have on our daily lives. and one glaring aspect of it is the traffic. theres a substantial decrease in traffic volume when the kids arent off to school. and its not restricted to just the residential areas, the ripple effect can be felt even on the highways thats usually all choked up during peak hours.

Wonder why.. do that many people take leave and go off on a vacation? or that many people actually send their kids to school as opposed to using school vans & buses?

I dunno. and i dont really care bcos i'm just going to enjoy the 'sunday morning' feeling where the roads are clear & there's just no rush.

But only on the roads la lol. theres still the usual rush of getting ready and making it to the office on time. and as i waited impatiently for the light to turn green (my greatest obstacle to work - the concorde 't' junction), i glanced at my hands gripping the steering and i saw, i truly saw my hands!!!! i mean we usually look at ourselves without really seeing.. but this time it was as clear as day and i got the shock of my life.

It was mine alright but it was also the crepey, powdery, veiny hands that one would associate with a favourite granny!! i've gotten used to staring at a stranger's face, now i'm looking at a stranger's hands.

Aaaaarggh. when did i get to be so old?!??

[says the 20ish-tak-sedar-diri woman that still resides in my body ekekekeh]

Heh. i really must remember to slap on those fancy lotions & handcreams i'd bought but never got round to using ;p

This is as good as it gets. deal with it.

Anyhoo.. you all have a great day peeps :D

Workout:
2k/am run/S9
60 mins cardio-salsa

School break

2010-06-07T13:13:00.002+08:00

For a couple of days at least everyone's back where they belong... HOME.

Its school-break so the cikgu's home for 2 weeks.
Its semester-break so topman's home till college reopens.
Its still spm-break for missy who's biding time and will be home till early july.
And golfman, who's been home for the whole week but who will be flying off again. today.

As usual its hard. after all these years you'd think it gets easier to see him go but nope, nothing's farther from the truth. he breaks my heart everytime he leaves.. and i'm done justifying my feelings. i feel what i feel, thats it.

On a cheerier note, cikgu's agreed to at least try a healthier diet as well as incorporate some form of exercise this 2 weeks that he's home. maybe brisk walking with me after work and nite cycling with his cousin. unfortunately, he'd regained some of the weight he worked so hard to lose when he was recently bogged down with work. weight that should immediately be lost before the couch reclaims him!!

Actually, both topman & missy have also been complaining about weight gain. lately missy's been bitten by the baking bug and has been making batches of something or other (mostly brownies & cookies) almost daily. now that doesnt really sit well with a trim waistline does it?! but i dont think those two will be doing anything about it anytime soon. they're still enjoying the whining lol.. but just wait till the tummy refuses to go away no matter how hard you suck it in!!

Tu la ma suruh exercise tak nak ;p

He's running!!

2010-06-06T23:57:00.005+08:00

Running - To move rapidly on foot so that both feet leave the ground during each step/stride.

So by that definition, golfman did me proud by running the whole route of tasik shah alam, all 3.8km of it!!

Yayy..

Forget about pace, timing or speed.. we were s-l-o-w lol. but i'm just so happy that he didnt give up although it was rather hard going for him towards the end. not wanting to scare him off running completely, i kept asking at every km marker, "you wanna start walking now yang?". but i guess the sportsman in him responded; the one sidelined by work & other pressing commitments. he plodded on!!

Aaaah.. perhaps my dream will come true ;D

Weekend Workout:

Sat - 4k/am run/TSA-with golfman.

Sun - 50 mins aerobics/DSA

- 1.5k/am run/TSA-with golfman.

- 8k/pm run/TSA-alone, lost him to the greens lol.

The Godfather

2010-06-03T08:15:00.005+08:00

Nicolei king of the heap ;D

Yup, just like that all time mafia boss.... but the feline version of course lol.

But he wasnt quite himself lately.

He'd been looking rather scraggly and was sleeping most of time and upon closer inspection, we'd noticed that his drool was getting to be a bit too foul.. after he'd cleaned himself, he almost smelled like a monster that had escaped from the sewer!! he was also losing his famous cat balance and even fell off his favourite bunk (my ironing board) landing on his back, not on his feet.

That really spooked us and motivated the otherwise laidback kiddoes (read: malas lol) to haul him over to the vet's.

The por sod was diagnosed as suffering from gingivitis!!

That accounted for the foul drool, the decreased appetite (due to the pain of chewing) and overall malaise. he was also having inbalance issues caused by excessive earmites.

2 weeks of the right care & medication, he's back to his godfather-ly ways.. and smelling like a sewer monsta no more, thank the lord!!

Keeping an eye on his 'territory'

Mumsie

His brethren

Workout:

3k/am run/Sek 9

4k/pm run/TSA - yesterday

May peace be with you

2010-06-01T08:29:00.004+08:00

A friend is amongst those in the humanitarian convoy to gaza.

A young friend. one who i've always looked upon as someone quite laid back & carefree. most comfortable in jeans & t, even when he pays me a visit at the office. dependable, helpful but not someone i would've associated with peace missions & putting his life on the line.

"Pray for me kak", he'd said last i saw him. they were expecting trouble. it was more than likely to be anything BUT peaceful.. thats just the way it is with the zionist.

Now, we're rocked by the news of the ruthless attack on one of the ships.

How's that possible when it's still within international waters? and is it even possible to be attacking an aid fleet in our supposedly 'enlightened' times? the drama will unfold.. but as usual after the outcry, the superpowers will just look the other way and nothing will actually be done.

At this point in time i just hope my young friend is ok. he has a wife & *5 little children who still needs their daddy to be around. and although he has left them quite self-sufficient (a row of rented houses in the kampung), he is the type of person that we need more off... to inspire & emulate.

Semoga di panjangkan umur dalam semangat yang kental, keimanan yang teguh & kesihatan yang terbaik.

To Z and all involved in the convoy, may god be with you & bless all your efforts.

* Correction: 7 children

On the move

2010-05-31T08:33:00.004+08:00

Used to be when i was much younger i'd be stiff & sore after a robust bout of exercise.. be it games, jogging, or goofing around at the pool or field. funnily enough these days i find the tables being turned on me - i get even more aches & pains when i'm inactive.

- getting out of the bed can be torture.

- i creak when i stretch.

- if i stay too long in any given position, my bones start feeling like lead.

- if i forget to move, certain parts of my body just goes to sleep.

Gets to a point i cant even enjoy being a couch potato anymore lol. stay still and pay the price!

I'm starting to think that maybe i've inherited my late grandma's arthritis. i mean it is in the genetic pool. but then theres also the other much simpler, less dramatic explanation. i've hit the perimenopausal stage and its largely due to my falling estrogen levels.

But apart from natural supplements, i have no plans of taking any form of hrt. at least not for now and not as long as life is still manageable within the constraints of growing older.

So..

Since i end up feeling like a dead rat when i'm not pounding the pavement or jumping about like a crazy monkey, i guess it should be motivation enough for me to stay active. oh and i'll not insult your intelligence by implying that its all easy peachy when i do bcos of course its tiring after workouts. but its a good kind of tired, the kind that leaves you feeling, oddly, on your toes.

And when 50 is just around the corner, being on your toes is a godsend ;D

Weekend workouts:

-6k treadmill

-60 mins aerobics

-8k tasik s/alam.

Under the radar

2010-05-25T08:28:00.003+08:00

My boys..

Both goofy.. both emo lol.

I wonder what they're up to? i mean i know where they are and what they're doing - its a weekday so cikgu would be in one of his classes teaching & since its semester break, topman's probably still sleeping or doing something for his opah (though he'll be grumbling to no end, he'll still be doing it.. thats just the way he is lol).

But what are they really up to? what's going on in that male brain of theirs? now that they're both young men, i'm sure theres an awful lot that they're keeping from their mama ;p

Pandai-pandai la jaga diri my darlings.. bcos eventually you'll hafta jaga anak orang pulak hehehe.

Tsunami of events

2010-05-24T13:40:00.004+08:00

Its been a tsunami both at work and at home and i havent been able to stay online long enough for anything other than checking emails & updates.

So much has happened thats worth a mention but sadly i just couldnt find the time... and even when i could, i just couldnt find the energy. somewhere along the line my other half had to fly off again and i was back to struggling alone.

Maybe fast forwarding (or is it rewind) would do the trick?

Here we go then... from sunday to sunday ;D

MARA dilemma

2010-05-24T13:37:00.003+08:00

Sunday 23 May 2010 - The climax of a chaotic week.

After AH decided not to accept UTP's offer as 'pelajar persendirian', we were left with 2 other options - the MARA sponsorship programme (which was yet to be released) and UiTM's engineering foundation, thru UPU (coincidentally both had to do with mara).

Which put us in a quandry bcos MARA did not release the results of their sponsorship as planned. they had instead posted 'ralat' after 'ralat' until it was finally released at 4pm, friday 21 May 2010. problem is UiTM's registration date for all foundation programmes had been set on sunday, 23 May 2010 making it a very very close call if a decision had to be made based on the two.

I took friday off work bcos certain things had to be made ready. if AH didnt get the scholarship, there were a few things that needed to be taken care of before sunday's registration at puncak alam:
i. Agreements to be stamped - Kementerian Pengajian Tinggi has offered restricted scholarship for students of foundation programmes.
ii. Medical check-up - and why didnt we do this earlier? bcos only the x-ray can be re-used for other purposes, the heath report by the doc is done using the specific forms of the institutions.
iii. Opening of bank account - different universities endorse different banks. found out later both MARA & UiTM uses BIMB, silly me.
iv. Payment slip for registration fee - non refundable but no payment means no registration.

I was beyond serabut.. i didnt quite relish having to deal with the unnecessary but the situation didnt allow me to do otherwise. and we did what we could while we waited out the 4pm timeline that MARA had thrown us. at that point i wasnt even sure if they'd be able to deliver and was steeling myself for another 'ralat'.. i so hated to see the frustration on my daughter's face whenever that happened.

But the results were out as promised... and she did it!! after the long long wait, she'd been offered a 1+3 SAM/taylor's engineering programme to start in July. but that was all, no other details were forthcoming.. not until we receive their official offer via snail mail. even when i called the head office, they werent sure about the details either bcos apparently all offers were tailored differently to suit the student's achievement.

It was desicion making time, MARA with all its uncertainties.. or UiTM.

And after much deliberation and conferring with both abah & friends, she has decided to meet the uncertainties head-on.

Me? after all the chaos, i'll need to re-charge first thats for sure lol.